obliviousally_lj

WHYYYYY HORMONES. I DON'T HAVE ANY REASON TO BE MOPEY OR SAD OR WEEPY, YET SOMEHOW THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL LIKE.

I AM GOING TO SUBMERGE MYSELF IN 90s MUSIC AND CHRISTMAS TREE CAKES AND THEN SLUMBER.

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD WAY TO COMBAT STUPID WOMAN SHIT.

What a pain, I have, like, $50 to my name and I need to figure out how to do some laundry and open a bank account (Bank of America has no branches here, so we can't go to sort out this mess that happened with Tony's name change and the account being flagged for fradulent activity because you have to PHYSICALLY go to a bank branch and speak to someone) so we can get our financial aid deposited next week (not this week now, but the first week of January). I'm hoping most banks don't require a huge opening deposit (like, more than $30).

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The only thing I've drawn, aside from commissions. Fame Monster (who's based on Lady Gaga) is Angie's and Laurie/Yellow Jacket is, of course, mine. I just wanted to do something stylized and such, really. I like how it came out, but I realized I forgot a few things so I'll have to go back and edit it.

I've been using my Tumblr a whole lot lately. It's just been an easier/more fun/more sociable medium these days. I won't abandon my LJ, but most of my flist has either fallen off the face of the earth or has moved somewhere else. It's also SO much easier to manage multiple blogs over there. So, so much easier.

So, most of what I've been up to is mainly hosted over there. BUT, here IS what I've been up to:


[ click the image to see more ]

Guess who found a box of war letters and old photos while cleaning??? THIS GUY. My mom gave these to me a few years back, they’d been donated to the mission she was going through rehab at and she knows I love old photographs and things like that.

I’d never gotten the chance to really look through them and see who they were to/from (I knew it was someone from my hometown because of the photos in the box), but I’d never researched. BUT! There’s letters from a husband to his wife during WWII, so I’m really excited to pour over them. I’ll probably scan them and the photos (because I have a friend who will really love the local ones, as he’s a local history buff).

I've also been doing this fun thirty day band challenge.

Aaaaaaaaaaand, if the GIF tutorial I posted the other day didn't tip anyone off, I finally learned how to make GIFs! You can find them HERE. It's mostly Supernatural at the moment, of course.

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I realized the other day that many of my characters don't have, like, the basics down. Favorite movies or food or even birthdays! Blasphemy, says I! So I've been working on this thing to try and get those things down for my group of main ones (which has reached, like, 25 or something). Only two of which are canon characters I'm playing or have tweaked to be my own. I barely count Laurie as a canon character anymore because she's become a whole new breed of monster from the Laurie in Watchmen.

The whole chart (what I have done so far) can be found HERE. The color bars link to my COLOURlovers account (well, the specific page for that character's colors). The symbols next to their names link to that respective character's InsaneJournal, the tag for their name on my headpeople Tumblr and their specific collection or set on Polyvore. So, journal - rambling - fashion.

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Otherwise, things have been quiet. Christmas wasn't anything special, I gave Tony his late-bought gifts a few days beforehand (Iron Man boxers and two nice - and dirt cheap - tops from Kohls and some peppermint candies). My mom sent me a little money and I bought a cute $3 black skirt that I'm really wanting to wear but I work all week and we don't go anywhere and class doesn't start until the 10th. My life, woe.

I'm feeling cranky today. I hate it. I also feel like crap overall. My throat is all scratchy and itchy and tight and I only slept, like, four hours. I'm cranky about everything, even stupid little things. I have to go to my mom's today and that's going to be an all day ordeal because she's coming to pick me up and probably won't bring me home until late. But I kind of have to go, considering she's loaning me the rest of the rent money so I can, you know, keep my place.

Plus I have two essays due on Monday. One of which HAS to be turned in by class on Monday, the other sometime that week. It's my own fault for not doing it before last weekend or early this week, but it's just one more thing that's pissing me off today.

Now I'm waiting to hear from my mom and she said she'd call around 9AM or something and I've been awake since 8AM and dhgffklghklfdghdf.

UGH.

8:50 - 10:30 MW Art of Acting (11237)
02:15 - 3:05 MWF Writing I (16121) **
03:20 - 4:35 MW Art History (13889)
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9:15 - 10:30 TR Art of Theatre (15560)
02:15 - 3:30 TR Life on Planet Earth (11888)
06:00 - 8:30 TR 2D Composition (21196)

Tenative schedule for the MAIN CAMPUS. Only one that's not registered at the moment is the writing class (TJ got the last slot in that one). I'm gonna see if something opens up so I can take it with him.

Still apartment/house hunting up there. The biggest issue is the animals, despite us not having a cat/dog places are all FFFFFFFF about small caged animals. Ugh.

Going up to kidnap Angie today, since she doesn't work until Wednesday. Probably going to bum around and watch Supernatural and fag a lot.

I need to clean, the kitchen is a mess and I'd been avoiding it since I've been crampy and icky.

I'm feeling pretty good lately. I don't know if it's my complete nocturnalism (I don't go to bed until 11AM or 12PM in the morning/afternoon), but I've just been keeping busy with sorting music and drawing. It's pretty nice.

This: http://www.thethingsiwant.com/obliviousally/ has been a fun little time waster, as well.

So, planning for Anthrocon. Yes, I do everything last minute. But it's not as last minute as last year, when we weren't even sure we were going to be going and decided to say 'fuckit' and go anyhow.

I'm trying to figure out hotel stuff. There's gonna be five of us, so it makes our room pretty cheap for each of us for the weekend. This is awesome. Downside? I can't book anything at the Doubletree because the dates we want (Jul 2-5, two night) are full. And I'm not staying longer than that. The Marriot doesn't have their online thing up yet, so I can't reserve there because I don't have the money on hand at the moment to call and book. AUGH!

On the other hand, our options are open for what we want. Since there's a handful of us (obliviousally, keeperofdreams, advienga, squeeji and her BF), we could get a suite and we'd all still get away for under $100 for the weekend on the hotel.

Also, I really need to pay Mitsene for last year. D: D: D: Goddamn, I'm lame.

I'm hoping I can book something suitable soon, though. Because I don't know ANYONE who could accommodate an extra five people in their room for two days. D:

Such a pain. But if I had planned in advance, something would have come up last minute and screwed everything up. And, for awhile, we weren't sure if we were even going.

Sooooo....yeah.

But I get paid the weekend of AC, so I'm going to try to work my ass off for those weeks beforehand. I'll probably do Artists Alley (LARGER ROOM/TABLES FUCK YEAR), and that';; probably recoup both my admission AND hotel costs. I don't make much in AA, but I make enough to break even with those costs generall. I figure, as long as I recoup my admission (and, if I'm lucky, TJ's), it's a good thing.

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Rob's due home tomorrow around 6PM. I have work in the morning at 4:30AM.

I've been getting asked to stay after a lot, to help with reshops and softlines. This is good. I was originally kinda pissy about doing reshops, because it's dayturn's job. But if it gives me an extra hour or two (and if I can push it to my six hours), I can't really complain.

I've gotta clean up our mess today and start packing up the things we brought over. Clean my stuff off of Rob's computer, too.

Then, I get to go home and clean the house. Oh boy But payday is Friday and I should hopefully have a more money than last payday. I want to pick up some house stuff (hangers and such) so I can organize the closet. Seriously, our clothes are all over the place. We have dressers, but I loathe dressers (I don't know why), so I don't use them. We don't have a closet in our bedroom, we use the closet in the pink room (formerly the animal room, I need to clean it up so I can more them back in there and the ferrets can come out whenever they please.

So, I'll have to look around at work or we can go up to the Menagerie and see if they have any small tables or organizing stuff. Hit up the thrift stores.

I also need to clean the garage and the foyer at some point. The foyer is full of empty aquariums and a bookcase that could be moved INSIDE and have BOOKS PUT ON IT.

It's just a general clusterfuck, really.

I want to get my desk from the apartment. But I need to find someone with a truck who can help me lift it. It's fucking big (it's the huge L-shaped one I got from Angie), but it's great for keeping all my shit organized. Though, I'd have to move into the front room. Which I don't mind because then I can listen to my music and stuff. I just got all comfortable in the bedroom with TJ and the TV and all. XD

BUT. It would free up A LOT of space in the bedroom and we could open the balcony curtains more and have more room to work on things in the bedroom. Plus, I need to find a better setup for my computer and Possum, our extra storage computer.

Or, just make more of a mess. Who knows.

Maybe I could bring that little entertainment center upstairs, if Al doesn't need it back anytime soon for anything.

Hmmmm, plans coming into my head that look pretty nice. Maybe I'll start on that when I get home tomorrow. But I gotta get that damn desk to the house at some point. I love it so.

Now I'm rambling and TJ's up and about. He was feeling a bit under the weather this morning. Might have some bug. But he seems to be feeling better now, and that's good.

Now, to put some ribs on, loaf about and hope these cramps don't try to kill me.

Can't really tell I dyed it here. It's a pretty nice auburn-y color. TJ said it reminds him of Scully's haircolor in The X-Files. Af first, I thought it didn't take all the way through, but it did seem to. The top is brighter than the rest, though, but that's because I get more sun on the top of my head and all.

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Laurie, doodled in my sketchbook the other day. I inked it today while I was waiting for TJ at the mall. Staaaaaagnant.

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I did something to my chest while sleeping. It feels like someone sat on it for a long time, or hit it or something. Either way, it's gay.

I work Wednesday, which brings the number of days this week up to THREE. Oh boy.

I've been pissy and moody lately. PMS is certainly impending. Ffff.

We're house-sitting for Rob the 22nd through the 27th. Yeah, we'll have interwebs, but I probably won't have much art up. Maybe I can actually WORK ON FUCKING COMMISSIONS. FFFF.

I just kinda want to sleep a lot. I slept ten goddamn hours yesterday. No real reason for it, either.

I'm just feeling blah and stagnant.

Did watch the Sherlock Holmes trailer. Tony Stark In Victorian England! :D :D

I also FINALLY got CS4 to work! Turns out, it was something in my Fonts folder that was fucking it up.

I think I'm coming down with something.

I've hard a nagging migraine for the last two days. It's almost reached full blown now. I took some pills the other day, but they didn't help in the slightest.

Being sick means I've been unmotivated to do things and I've therefore pissed some people off because I said I was going to do something and I ended up not doing it because I felt like shit.

Migraine meds helped a lot. It's still lingering, but it's not immense pain like it was. Unfortunately, then comes another sort of pain. Stupid cramps. I know you're waiting in the wings.

I got a badge inked. Gotta tweak another one and I'm waiting on payment from a few people and a description from another. Progress! I want get my queue cleaned up and worked on so I can take some more since I'm feeling motivated. I don't know how some people push through art ruts. Freelancers are crazy. My work never feels good enough when I draw in a rut. I feel like I'm not giving the commission my all.

I've kinda been having fun with Tegaki now that I figured a way to draw on it. The lack of layers is REALLY difficult for me. I'm used to working in stages and layers, even when sketching. Sketch, ink over, erase pencil lines, color. When doing it all on one layer I freak out. D: But the solid coloring I've been doing has been fun AND challenging! Which is good.

I'm making slow cooker beef stew today. I really hope it comes out okay! I mean, it shouldn't be TOO difficult, but you never know.

I have a 40oz. of Smirnoff Apple Ice. It is delicious. And was only $2 from the corner store. I AM SO CLASSY.

Apparently, upon arriving at work, I discovered I was supposed to be there at 4AM instead of 4:30AM. This is bullshit. Mike told me I was covereing for Mel when she was on vacation. Which is NEXT WEEK (she's on vay-cay, like, the 16th-18th or something). NOT THIS WEEK BECAUSE MEL IS NOT ON VACATION. So now I have to figure how I'm going to get to work Wednesday and Friday, since TJ can't see at night. And Danielle doesn't work until 4:30AM. And it wouldn't be an issue if -I- worked at 4:30AM and SHE worked at 4AM. Because I wouldn't mind waiting at work for a half hour. But I'm not going to make her do that.

So...I dunno.

Retarded work bullshit. I was so pissed this morning I almost walked out. That plus the headache plus the PMS really put me in an irritable mood.

We were discussing why/how Freckles is in a relatiopnship with Anthony. Because Anthony is socially stunted, brilliant, a little gross, and gangly and really hasn't grown in to, well, anything yet. Yeah, he's a bit of a different person when 'in suit', because he takes on a different air when dressed up.

Freckles' last boyfriend was a bit of a subtle manipulator and only stuck around with her to get in her pants. Then he promptly dumped her and she's still quite bitter about it. Not necessarily the sex (because she intended on getting that out of the way early on, anyhow. One less thing to worry over in the future.), but because he lied and led her along.

Anthony, on the other hand, doesn't hide his feelings about the relationship. He's honest about the whole sex thing and doesn't try to mess around with it. He's honest overall because, well, he doesn't have a reason not to be. Sure, outside of events and tabloid photos, he's not the stellar Anthony Stark the papers show. He eats things that've been in his fridge a bit too long. He combines foods that shouldn't even look at each other.

His dorm room is a mess, he's slightly obnoxious, but he's honest. Which is really the main factor for Freckles. Plus, he's a 'fresh slate', so she sort of takes this relationship to teach him how to do the whole relationship thing properly. Not that this will really stick around after The Accident and The Breakup because he just turns into the Tony we all know and love. But it's good for now and they don't need to know any better. :3

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I lost all my Winamp playlists when I reformatted. Luckily, I know most of them by heart.

I'm working on the Anthony/Freckles one. Most of 'em seem to be from Freckles' point of view. And I wish I could find more cute, couple songs for the good portion of their relationship. But it's been slim pickings.

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I only have two days next week. TWO. FUCKING. DAYS. And I can't even recoup my lost days on commissions. Fabulous.

I'm just miserable today. I've been yelled at within a half hour of waking up and I think I'm just going to go for a long walk and take some pictures instead of going downstairs and crying about things I can't change and things that don't want to change.

( I hate you so much I can taste it in my... )

Read Extremis today. In all of its six issue glory. Pretty neat. I'm quite fond of the art and it seems like Adi Granov's art declined with Viva Las Vegas. :/ Sad, because I do like his style.

It's weird not having Pepper as Tony's PA. I wonder why that was...

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I've felt mostly like crap lately. I'm getting ready to start my period, so I'm all emo and moody and bitchy to those who don't deserve it.

Bleh.

[19:27] I AM BATMAN: Elliott said that we're making a Marvel Smallville
[19:27] I AM BATMAN: And that we should feel bad

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Today has been the most absolutely miserable day in a really, really long time.



Quidditch died this morning. Right before his vet appointment. I really think it was some sort of congestive heart failure because he went SO fast.

Me and TJ are fighting. About what? I wish I fucking had any semblance of an idea what about. She refuses to talk to me and I really think the whole situation is upsetting me so much it's making me ill. If there's one thing I wish, I wish she could work out issues in a manner that doesn't consist of shutting me out and talking down to me when I'm in an obvious state of emotional distress. PMS-related or not.

Because, y'know, Ally never deserves sympathy or comfort for anything, right? She's tough, she'll be fine. She'll get over it. She always does. No reason to put out the extra effort to just say things will be alright. Because Ally always gets over it.

Yeah, sure. It usually just rolls off my back. But this time it hurt me far more than anyone will ever realize.

I also cried in Dawn's (the HR lady) office this morning at work, while inquiring about TJ's job which she pretty much can't get back.

I really just fail at doing absolutely anything anymore. I upset and hurt the people I love without even realizing it. I can't do anything right. I fail at caring for my own animals, apparently, as well. Everything I do is a constant let down. An uphill battle that I keep falling down from.

And, in a matter of mere minutes, my mood switches and now I'm just pissed.

I really can't understand how people just...refuse to mend relationships. I mean, when I'm pissed at someone, I'm pissed at them. But then I vent, I think it over, and I realize that I value having them in my life on a positive note more than whatever petty bullshit or argument or transgression came between us. This is why I bend over backwards for the people I love. Despite what shit I may get on occassion from some of them. I want them IN my life more than I've ever want them OUT of it. And I can't wrap my brain around how people can just ditch friends and loved ones over such stupid things that can be solved with a CONVERSATION.

FUCKING COMMUNICATION.

WITH EACH OTHER.

Not with other people in your social circle. Not with people who you hated eight months ago. Not with everyone else.

With.

Each.

Other.

It's not difficult. But apparently it's the end of the world for some folks. And, while I sit here willing and ready to hash this shit out, I know that I will get nothing and, eventually, I will just roll over and expose my tummy in the interest of making everything okay and happy again.