And 'Ill go chasin' the nuns out in the yard...

[obliviousally_lj]

Okay. Situation is calm now. Water bill has been paid. Electric will hopefully be paid before the cut off date on the 22nd.

I'm off for the next two days, so hopefully I can get something accomplished.

Move is put off until....well, whenever it happens once Squeeji and Elliot get their things in order and all that.

Internet bill was completely forgotten in all the mayhem, that'll be paid Friday hopefully.

I spent this morning reading some more comics. Got through Sam Keith's Four Women (which was quite good), both of the Sandman Death specials (which I enjoyed), Marvel Zombies (only the first six issue arc) and Sin City That Yellow Bastard. I'm reading The Big Fat Kill now.

I really love Sin City, though. And the fact that the movie mirrors the comics so well.

---

Someone please, PLEASE explain to me why people feel furry is some OMG LIFECHANGING EVENT. I don't understand it. I never have. Ever. At all. Furry did nothing more than get me into drawing seriously. Yes, I found friends through the fandom online, but I would have found friends through ANY FANDOM I got into online. Just because they were OMG FURRY friends changes nothing.

I just...I can't wrap my brain around it. Maybe it's because I've never fallen into and clung to something because I felt my life was so worthless I had nothing else. Who the fuck knows. I just know that some things are for fun and there's more important shit out there to worry about than a fandom of doghead people.

l;fdjg;fdljhbd;fljhd

I don't get it. At all.

This is what I hear ALL. THE. TIME.

I've been a furry since I was born, but I didn't discover the furry fandom until I was nearing my 18th birthday in the spring/summer of 2008. As a kid I always pretended I was a dog, wolf, or lion. I loved such movies as The Lion King, Balto, Lady and the Tramp, 101 Dalmatians, Eight Below, and many others (and I still do!). In my early childhood I always drew animals.

Guess what, I drew awful pictures of dogs and strange alien things. That didn't make me a furry. That made me a KID. Kids draw STUFF they see around them. Things they watch. Things in their home (we had dogs and cats). Kids like cartoons. It doesn't matter what sort of characters are in them. It's funny moving pictures on the TV box. Everyone grows up watching Disney movies (rife with anthromorphic creatures of all sorts) and Looney Tunes and whatever their parents sit them down to watch cartoons in front of the static babysitter.

I used to stick dishtowels in the back of my pants as a child and run around like a dog. I ate dog food once. WHAT KID HASN'T?! That doesn't make me a furry. It makes me a stupid kid.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

---

I slept the last few hours. Oh, cramps. Nice to see you. And I'm feeling queasy again. I hope it's on account of the cramps and not the McDonalds I had this morning. I don't want a repeat of the other day because those nuggets were so tasty.

---

♫ Stars - Barricade

Trapped on the terraces, I looked at you and knew
You were the only thing that mattered
There was no one for me but you
In Harmony Street we beat a man
Just for standing there
I held my breath as I watched you swing
Then run your fingers through your hair

Oh, how could anyone not love the terrible things you do?
Oh, how could anyone not want to try and help you?

In Bermondsey in Burberry, you held me at the barricade, the pigs arrived with tear gas
And I wept at the mistakes we made
We stalked the streets like animals
And danced as windows shattered
For our island, for the thrill of it, for everything that mattered

Oh, how could anyone not want to rip it all apart?
Oh, how could anyone not love your cold, black heart?

I found you on a Saturday, and that was where I lost you
You had finally walk away because of what it cost you, years later when I saw your face
In line to catch the morning train, you looked like you'd been softened
Like you never really loved the pain

Oh, how could anyone not finally diminish?
The thrill of blood comes instantly
There's only darkness at the finish

Meet me at the barricade, I'll be at the barricade
Meet me at the barricade, the love died, but the hate can't fade
I'll be at the barricade, the love died, but the hate won't fade...

This song reminds me of, like, an AU Phe or something. Or an AU Angel.

---

♫ Maria Mena - Nevermind Me

What is the game we're playing?
should I stick around for more?
Snap your fingers I'll coming running
Leave again when you're bored
with me
I'll make it easy

Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just cast shadows on your walls
Nevermind me, nevermind me
My God I feel so small
Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just cast shadows on your walls
Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just let myself out.

This facade that I'm stuck with
has got me wondering
Just tell me how you want me
and I'll be naked stumbling
just to get a reaction, any signs of love

Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just cast shadows on your walls
Nevermind me, nevermind me
My God I feel so small
Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just cast shadows on your walls
Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just let myself out.

Bottle up your smile
Pour it in a cup
I'll be on my way
once I've sobered up

Another Phe song. Or possibly post-accident/post-breakup Freckles. I'm not sure.

---

♫ Stabilo - Kidding Ourselves

And I, I wanted to tear down the curtains
To let, let in some natural light
I wake up and open one eye
And wait for the window to crack at me, alone

And I, I wanted to curl up beside you
And die, at least for an hour or more
Depending on how you react
Depending on how you respond to me
I'll stick around

We're kidding ourselves kidding ourselves
So what do you want from me
'Cause as long as there's a payphone and a taxi cab I'm alright 'cause I can leave home
We're kidding ourselves kidding ourselves
So what are you waiting for
'Cause even with a fast car and a cellphone I won't leave 'cause I'd be alone

So tonight, let's be as bold as we want to
And drink, drink 'til we fall down the steps
Remember how that made us laugh
Remember how all that we did was laugh, and cry

Well, we're kidding ourselves kidding ourselves
So what do you want from me
'Cause as long as there's a payphone and a taxi cab I'm alright 'cause I can leave home
We're kidding ourselves kidding ourselves
So what are you waiting for
'Cause even on a bullet train or a jet plane I won't leave 'cause I'd be alone
And I'm lucky to find cardboard in an alleyway that I can call home

So tonight, let's be as bold as we want to run, four eyes ohhh
We're kidding ourselves kidding ourselves
So what do you want from me
'Cause as long as there's a payphone and a taxi cab I'm alright 'cause I can leave home
We're kidding ourselves kidding ourselves
So what are you waiting for
'Cause even on a bullet train or a jet plane I won't leave 'cause I'd be alone
I'm lucky to find cardboard in an alleyway that I can call home
So don't take your eyes off me, don't look away
I won't be alone
At home

This was on a Pepper/Rhodey mix and I didn't even realize until I went to find it. It's strangely appropriate.

---

♫ The Mountain Goats - Have To Explode

Tile floor of the bathroom
Scrubbed clean and bright
Checkerboard white and grey
Towels from the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Kingston Jamaica
I can still see the rust colored stains today
The stage is set
Someone's going to do something someone else will regret
I speak in smoke signals and you answer in code
The fuse will have to run out sometime
Something here will eventually have to explode
Have to explode

You and me lying on the tile floor
Trying to keep cool
Restless all night
Sweating out the poison
As the temperature climbs
Staring up up at the hundred-watt light that burns above
Name one thing about us two anyone could love
We roll out the red carpet
When rotten luck comes down the road
Five four three two one
Watch for the flash
Something here will eventually have to explode
Have to explode

---

♫ Bird York - Never Gonna Find Us

Barking at the moonlight
bouncing off the walls til morning comes
giddy from that crazy high
that you get from love
we're taking it off
and turning it up
We're out in the backyard dancing
we're working a sexy motown groove
we move like our lives depend upon it
trouble is never gonna find us here

put your arms around me
let me feel your skin brush against mine
kiss me like we're strangers on a train
just let instinct run wild
just hold on real tight
and take it real slow
We're out in the backyard dancing
we're working a sexy motown groove
we move like our lives depend upon it
trouble is never gonna find us here

and the stars conspire with us
as we close our eyes and leave the world behind

We're out in the backyard dancing
we're working a bad ass motown groove
we move like our lives depend upon it
trouble is never gonna find us here
trouble is never gonna find us here

Phe/Kyle. :3

---

♫ Spill Canvas - 3685

My empty promises
Led to our demise
And I could never tell you how I really feel
And for that I eternally apologize

I hope you never forget the tapping at your window
With the harsh cold and the jealousy
Running through my bones
We were both selfish, but I think I was more

I would like to thank you, for showing me
A part of myself that I have never seen
Yeah, we were young and dumb, but it still was fun
And I guess these things just tend to fall apart
And I hope you feel the same

My empty promises
My empty promises
Brought us to an end
I just hurt you and I never looked back
Now I have no logic to defend

I hope you never forget the tapping at your window
With the harsh cold and the jealousy
Running through my bones
We were both selfish, but I think I was more

I would like to thank you, for showing me
A part of myself that I have never seen
Yeah, we were young and dumb, but it still was fun
And I guess these things just tend to fall apart

I would like to thank you, for showing me
A part of the world that I have never seen
Yeah, I was young and dumb, but it still was fun
I'm forever indebted to you
I hope you feel the same

You seem like such a big part
Of my life and my heart
But the truth is I've found something new
And she easily towers over you

You seem like such a big part
Of my life and my heart
But the truth is I've found something new
And she easily towers over you

Freckles/Anthony, minus the end part because Anthony never actually settles down with another woman...

---

♫ Tori Amos - Happy Phantom

And if I die today Ill be the happy phantom
And Ill go chasin the nuns out in the yard
And Ill run naked through the streets without my mask on
And I will never need umbrellas in the rain
Ill wake up in strawberry fields everday
And the atrocities of school I can forgive
The happy phantom has no right to bitch

Oo who- the time is getting closer
Oo who- time to be a ghost
Oo who- everyday were getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will we pay for who we been

So if I die today Ill be the happy phantom
And Ill go wearin my naughties like a jew
Theyll be my ticket to the universal opera
Theres judy garland taking buddha by the hand
And then these seven little men get up to dance
They say confucius does his crossword with a pen
Im still the angle to the girl who hates to sin

Oo whoo- the time is gettin closer
Oo who- the time to be a ghost
Oo who- everyday were getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I been

Or will I see you dear and wish I could come back
You found a girl that you could truly love again
Will you still call for me when she falls asleep
Or do we soon forget the things we cannot see

Oo who- the time is getting closer
Oo who- the time to be a ghost
Oo who- everyday were getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I been

And if I die today
And if I die today
And if I die today
Chasin nuns out in the yard

Poe, obviously. :D

---

♫ The Submarines - Brighter Discontent

Got a brand new roof above my head
All the empty boxes thrown away
I rearranged the place
A hundred times today
But the ordering of objects
Couldn't hide what's missing

All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be home again
All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be alone again

Got myself a bottle of red wine
Got a night of nothing else to do
I think I might know
What I really want
But is a brighter discontent
The best that I could hope to find?

Got a big black television set
Now I can watch just what I want
But I'm here staring up
At pictures on the wall
And where are you,
You're still stuck inside them all

All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be home again
All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be alone again

But love is not these belongings
That surround me
Though there's meaning
In the memories they hold
A breaking heart in an empty apartment
Was the loudest sound I never heard

Got a desk I'll write myself a note
Pretending that it came from you
On hotel stationary
From the time we first met
Whatever I can do cause
I won't throw my hands up yet

All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be home again
All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be alone again

But love is not these belongings
That surround you
Though there's meaning
In the memories they hold
A breaking heart in an empty apartment
Was the loudest sound I never heard

Well I'll be find if
I dont look around me now
Too much for what's gone
If only I can wait here just a little while
And let time pass in my room

Freckles or Phe.

---

♫ Eve 6 - Bring The Night On

OK, OK I'm boring you,
I'm warning you tonight,
is not the night for fights,
lies white or other wise.
My mood isn’t better yet,
sober and humorless,
if you cant handle this,
roll off the mattress.

I'm trying to let you know that your not just another.
When you’re under the covers, I'm under your thumb.
And your the finest of specimens,
leaving me breathless,
reeling and restless,
putting me to the test.

Turn the light off,
leave me where I lay.
Bring the night on, not another day.

Turn the light off,
leave me where I lay.
Bring the night on, not another day.

Ok I'm lying when I'm telling you your right
but you don’t like the truth
served straight or otherwise,
And I’m an insomniac,
tossing and turning and,
it’s getting repetitive,
swallow a sedative.

I'm trying to let you know that your not just another.
When you’re under the covers, I'm under your thumb.
And your the finest of specimens,
leaving me breathless,
reeling and restless,
putting me to the test.

Turn the light off,
leave me where I lay.
Bring the night on, not another day.

Turn the light off,
leave me where I lay.
Bring the night on, not another day.
Not another day, not another day,
Not another day, not another day.

OK I'm boring you,
I'm warning you tonight,
is not the night for fights,
lies white or other wise.
My mood isn’t better yet,
sober and humorless,
if you cant handle this,
BREAK!
roll off the mattress

Turn the light off,
leave me where I lay.
Bring the night on, not another day.

Turn the light off,
leave me where I lay.
Bring the night on, not another day.
Not another, not another
Not another day, not another day,
Not another day, not another day.

---

Comments

[keeperofdreams.livejournal.com]

...so does that mean the good chunk of my childhood that I spent being a dinosaur means I'm actually a dinosaur? HOT DAMN! :D :D :D

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

FUCK YEAH

[keeperofdreams.livejournal.com]

RAWR STOMP STOMP SNORT!

[jenova-silver.livejournal.com]

What kind of dinosaur? Utah Raptor?

[zeeth_kyrah]

I once played a character which was a Utahraptor, who behaved rather more like a carousel horse than a dangerous predator (of any sort). Loved to give rides to people and stomp around all growly and giggling.

I just seem to like playing characters who go against type.

[gypsyjr.livejournal.com]

Heh, one of the first things I remember drawing was Pound Puppies fanart. Of course back then every animal I drew pretty much looked like a weird tadpole-ish blob with legs, so it's not like you could really tell unless I'd described it to you.

[zeeth_kyrah]

It's a qualitative personal experience. Some people are furries in a way that some people aren't. Some people mistake furry fandom as presenting something else they are, until they find that and realize it was a dream or a mistake or OMG MY LIFE IS FUCKED 4EVER BY THOSE GODDAMNED FURRIES THEY ARE EEVUL, KNEIVEL.

And some people just say "hey cool whatever" and don't have to care about it either way.

[tibek.livejournal.com]

I hear you on the furry thing. I just got asked today by a freaked out girl if I was a furry and if me and my friends all met at some furry convention or something. I don't get it. o_o It's not some huge lifestyle change- it's mostly an art style- to me, anyway. Why does it have to be about drama? @_@