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obliviousally_lj[19:27] I AM BATMAN: Elliott said that we're making a Marvel Smallville
[19:27] I AM BATMAN: And that we should feel bad
Today has been the most absolutely miserable day in a really, really long time.
Quidditch died this morning. Right before his vet appointment. I really think it was some sort of congestive heart failure because he went SO fast.
Me and TJ are fighting. About what? I wish I fucking had any semblance of an idea what about. She refuses to talk to me and I really think the whole situation is upsetting me so much it's making me ill. If there's one thing I wish, I wish she could work out issues in a manner that doesn't consist of shutting me out and talking down to me when I'm in an obvious state of emotional distress. PMS-related or not.
Because, y'know, Ally never deserves sympathy or comfort for anything, right? She's tough, she'll be fine. She'll get over it. She always does. No reason to put out the extra effort to just say things will be alright. Because Ally always gets over it.
Yeah, sure. It usually just rolls off my back. But this time it hurt me far more than anyone will ever realize.
I also cried in Dawn's (the HR lady) office this morning at work, while inquiring about TJ's job which she pretty much can't get back.
I really just fail at doing absolutely anything anymore. I upset and hurt the people I love without even realizing it. I can't do anything right. I fail at caring for my own animals, apparently, as well. Everything I do is a constant let down. An uphill battle that I keep falling down from.
And, in a matter of mere minutes, my mood switches and now I'm just pissed.
I really can't understand how people just...refuse to mend relationships. I mean, when I'm pissed at someone, I'm pissed at them. But then I vent, I think it over, and I realize that I value having them in my life on a positive note more than whatever petty bullshit or argument or transgression came between us. This is why I bend over backwards for the people I love. Despite what shit I may get on occassion from some of them. I want them IN my life more than I've ever want them OUT of it. And I can't wrap my brain around how people can just ditch friends and loved ones over such stupid things that can be solved with a CONVERSATION.
FUCKING COMMUNICATION.
WITH EACH OTHER.
Not with other people in your social circle. Not with people who you hated eight months ago. Not with everyone else.
With.
Each.
Other.
It's not difficult. But apparently it's the end of the world for some folks. And, while I sit here willing and ready to hash this shit out, I know that I will get nothing and, eventually, I will just roll over and expose my tummy in the interest of making everything okay and happy again.
[19:27] I AM BATMAN: And that we should feel bad
Today has been the most absolutely miserable day in a really, really long time.
Quidditch died this morning. Right before his vet appointment. I really think it was some sort of congestive heart failure because he went SO fast.
Me and TJ are fighting. About what? I wish I fucking had any semblance of an idea what about. She refuses to talk to me and I really think the whole situation is upsetting me so much it's making me ill. If there's one thing I wish, I wish she could work out issues in a manner that doesn't consist of shutting me out and talking down to me when I'm in an obvious state of emotional distress. PMS-related or not.
Because, y'know, Ally never deserves sympathy or comfort for anything, right? She's tough, she'll be fine. She'll get over it. She always does. No reason to put out the extra effort to just say things will be alright. Because Ally always gets over it.
Yeah, sure. It usually just rolls off my back. But this time it hurt me far more than anyone will ever realize.
I also cried in Dawn's (the HR lady) office this morning at work, while inquiring about TJ's job which she pretty much can't get back.
And, in a matter of mere minutes, my mood switches and now I'm just pissed.
I really can't understand how people just...refuse to mend relationships. I mean, when I'm pissed at someone, I'm pissed at them. But then I vent, I think it over, and I realize that I value having them in my life on a positive note more than whatever petty bullshit or argument or transgression came between us. This is why I bend over backwards for the people I love. Despite what shit I may get on occassion from some of them. I want them IN my life more than I've ever want them OUT of it. And I can't wrap my brain around how people can just ditch friends and loved ones over such stupid things that can be solved with a CONVERSATION.
FUCKING COMMUNICATION.
WITH EACH OTHER.
Not with other people in your social circle. Not with people who you hated eight months ago. Not with everyone else.
With.
Each.
Other.
It's not difficult. But apparently it's the end of the world for some folks. And, while I sit here willing and ready to hash this shit out, I know that I will get nothing and, eventually, I will just roll over and expose my tummy in the interest of making everything okay and happy again.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 06:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 12:35 pm (UTC)I read your entry and then I texted an apology to jef- I was such a bitch last night because he moved the phone charger (i was half asleep cause it was a quarter after midnight, so my bitchyness was probably worse!) but i was just mad i spent the evening alone and was cranky and lonely- not mad at him. :( that sucks, I'm sure things will get better for you...
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 03:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 04:14 pm (UTC)Hang in there. Trust me, I know it hurts and it sucks hardcore. I'm here if you need to talk/rant/cry/bullshit.
<3