There's always a big mess left over...

[obliviousally_lj]

Meh, textures work well enough in place of shading, right?

---

I have reached the height of apathy and zero motivation today. I'm so frustrated about it I want to cry. I'm tired of being broke. I'm tired of not having decent food in the house. I'm tired of failing at everything I do or try to do. Everything is stressing me out right now, I can't even put it into words properly. I can't even take commissions to bring in some income because, well, I already said I'm done with them. I'm not tacking more onto that just to end up refunding them in January.

I'm going to have to retake my writing class. This makes me mad at myself to no end. I pretty much wasted an entire semester because I either dropped everything or stopped going to class. Writing was my only saving grace because I was doing well in it until I started to flake out on my discussion board assignments. Not intentionally, but I'd be out past 7PM (when the boards close) and I'd be fucked. Did I care at the time? Hell no, I was enjoying myself with friends. But now I'm beating myself up over it and I hate it.

I'm stressed out about the rats. I lost Possum last night because I think the nude boys we took in back in August are just...severely inbred and aggressive. I paired them all up thinking it'd be cool because they all seemed to get along and they killed Possum.

Internet bill is due on Tuesday or it's cut off. I thought I'd be able to make it until January (usually I can lapse three months before they threaten to cut it off, and I paid extra last time I paid the bill). I have my writing final online on Tuesday, but I guess that doesn't really matter at this point.

I wish I could just borrow, like, $200 off someone just to help me make it to Jan. Just enough to float me through the holidays and I'd be able to pay them back. It's such a pain. I can't even go out of Labor Ready because we don't have the gas to get my to any worksites. I'd love to be working, don't get me wrong, but everything's been fighting against me about that and it's a pain in the fucking ass.

UGH.

Wangst wangst wangst.

I hate the winter. I always get like this. It's always woe-is-me because shit fucking sucks in the winter. Give me spring. Give me sunny skies and walking weather so I can get out and do what I need to do on my own.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

is there a reliable bus in your area you can take? my car was in the shop for 2 weeks and i had to ride the bus everywhere. we calculated that we saved over 100.00 by simply not paying for gas. it is a huge pain in the ass at first, but i began to bundle up more and complain less and my fiance and i ended up enjoying it a lot. also, i lost a tonnnnn of weight. :)

also, i just made 115.00 on amazon selling old textbooks. from what i read, you're in college and so you must have old textbooks. i listed about 6 on amazon. they all sold for about 15.00 (and one for 30.00). one book doesn't seem like much when it's selling for 15.00, but in 2 weeks i had earned 115.00. and believe me, it was needed. we had 8.00 in our checking account. n _ n;; also, if you low-ball your price, it will always sell quickly.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

No bus system in my town (though, when I move there will be). I'd love to have public transit because I don't mind using it at all. But the lack of one in the city anymore is a huge pain.

Sadly, I only have one textbook. Most of my classes, I didn't need one and the one I did, I dropped early on. I'm hoping I can get about $40 out of it, but at this point, anything helps.

[beyonddichotomy.livejournal.com]

Yeah, 40.00 definitely helps. Thats gas and food. BTW, this is my account. I have no idea why I wasn't logged on.

Also, I sell tons of random stuff on ebay too. DVDs, books, collectibles, whatever. That always helps too. I was 100.00 in debt last winter (I owed a friend) and I ended up making over 350.00 for small things here and there. @_@ It is a pain in the butt to do but it really helps.

[sakuraboy13.livejournal.com]

so long as you can pay me back i can lend you the money, no big deal. I just won't stash anything from this past check. again no big deal i've been spending liek crazy for Christmas and didnt anticipate being able to save anything anyway. let me know if you want to work that out bb.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

That would be amazing. It doesn't have to be a lot, just a little something to tide us over. Like I said, financial aid in mid-Jan (somewhere around the 10th-13th, I'm hearing we're supposed to be getting our checks) and I'd have the monies right back to you. ❤ ❤

[sakuraboy13.livejournal.com]

totes not a problem then. I've got to get myself to the post again anyway, so i'll get some money to you when i get back there.:>

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

You're too good to me, bb. ❤

[sakuraboy13.livejournal.com]

pshaw- you guys are even better to me plz. <3

[sakuraboy13.livejournal.com]

btw, i sent yours and TJ's gifts yesterday, be on teh lookout <3

[keeperofdreams.livejournal.com]

Gifts?! :D

[sakuraboy13.livejournal.com]

yes. presents for you guys :>

[keeperofdreams.livejournal.com]

Oooooooooooo

[sakuraboy13.livejournal.com]

ok i lied. i didnt go to the post today, and likely won't because i got out of work so late... tomorrow hopefully i won't do a 10-hour shift and will make it before 2

[keeperofdreams.livejournal.com]

GIFT GOT! Many lulz will be had. <3

[sakuraboy13.livejournal.com]

:>>>> <3