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obliviousally_ljWhat was it like the first time you came out of the closet? I hear a lot of stories but I don't know yours. I always find those interesting because it's never even remotely the same for anyone.
I actually...didn't really ever come out of the closet. Everyone kind of KNEW before I even ever did.
Me and TJ were, like, attatched at the hip throughout junior high and high school. My immediate family assumed I was probably gay, and I recall having a conversation with my mom about it at one time. At that time I wasn't 'out', so-to-speak. Infact, I wasn't even set in my sexuality then. I assumed I should like guys, but I really didn't care about dating or all the drama and bullshit that comes with (high school) relationships.
I do remember commenting to a friend at one point that 'being friends with TJ is like being in a relationship' because we sort of did all sorts of relationship things. We bought each other stuff for birthdays and holidays, and for couple holidays like Valentine's day. We were always there for each other and, by the end of our Senior year, we were mostly living together.
In 2002, TJ was the bold one and admitted she loved me in a more-than-friends way. But not quite in a lesbian sort of way. This didn't phase me in the slightest and we explained it to our close friends who were like 'okay!'. And that was that. It wasn't until 2005 that we became official. In fact, we've just recently passed three years since then.
As for 'coming out'? To me, it wasn't like, so huge deal. I was simply telling my family and friends that I was happy in a relationship with someone I loved. I never looked for acceptance, or even felt nervous that my family wouldn't accept me. Because, quite frankly, if they rejected it without question, I didn't need them in my life anyhow. My mom simply told me that as long as I was happy, she was happy. Explaining pansexuality to my mom was just as easy, too. She razzes me about some of the crazy words and stuff I use, because she hasn't heard a lot of the things I say, but she's always cool with it.
It took awhile for me to start saying 'girlfriend' instead of 'friend', though. And TJ wasn't completely comfortable with me telling everyone about us being together. She was worried that it would cause things to be awkward between some people that we really valued as friends. And, while we knew they wouldn't ditch us, we didn't want the weirdness. In fact, I don't think we've explicitly told Rob yet, but we're pretty sure he knows.
Some of my co-workers have asked in private if it's a girl-friend or a girlfriend, because I mention her a lot. Which I'm cool with. Krispy has started calling TJ my husband, just to confused folks.
But it was never a big deal to me. Maybe it's because I was raised in a very open family. I'm not the first person to 'come out', one my my mom's cousins was the first. So my extended family is pretty accepting of it.
So, uh. Yeah. There you go.
I actually...didn't really ever come out of the closet. Everyone kind of KNEW before I even ever did.
Me and TJ were, like, attatched at the hip throughout junior high and high school. My immediate family assumed I was probably gay, and I recall having a conversation with my mom about it at one time. At that time I wasn't 'out', so-to-speak. Infact, I wasn't even set in my sexuality then. I assumed I should like guys, but I really didn't care about dating or all the drama and bullshit that comes with (high school) relationships.
I do remember commenting to a friend at one point that 'being friends with TJ is like being in a relationship' because we sort of did all sorts of relationship things. We bought each other stuff for birthdays and holidays, and for couple holidays like Valentine's day. We were always there for each other and, by the end of our Senior year, we were mostly living together.
In 2002, TJ was the bold one and admitted she loved me in a more-than-friends way. But not quite in a lesbian sort of way. This didn't phase me in the slightest and we explained it to our close friends who were like 'okay!'. And that was that. It wasn't until 2005 that we became official. In fact, we've just recently passed three years since then.
As for 'coming out'? To me, it wasn't like, so huge deal. I was simply telling my family and friends that I was happy in a relationship with someone I loved. I never looked for acceptance, or even felt nervous that my family wouldn't accept me. Because, quite frankly, if they rejected it without question, I didn't need them in my life anyhow. My mom simply told me that as long as I was happy, she was happy. Explaining pansexuality to my mom was just as easy, too. She razzes me about some of the crazy words and stuff I use, because she hasn't heard a lot of the things I say, but she's always cool with it.
It took awhile for me to start saying 'girlfriend' instead of 'friend', though. And TJ wasn't completely comfortable with me telling everyone about us being together. She was worried that it would cause things to be awkward between some people that we really valued as friends. And, while we knew they wouldn't ditch us, we didn't want the weirdness. In fact, I don't think we've explicitly told Rob yet, but we're pretty sure he knows.
Some of my co-workers have asked in private if it's a girl-friend or a girlfriend, because I mention her a lot. Which I'm cool with. Krispy has started calling TJ my husband, just to confused folks.
But it was never a big deal to me. Maybe it's because I was raised in a very open family. I'm not the first person to 'come out', one my my mom's cousins was the first. So my extended family is pretty accepting of it.
So, uh. Yeah. There you go.
