Finds herself opens the door and sighs...
Jan. 17th, 2008 03:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
obliviousally_ljI'm pretty sure I'm PMSing. I've been flip flopping moods all night. Almost to the point of crying at work. For no reason whatsoever.
Okay, so, the music may have been part of it. And me beating myself up over things I cannot fix or change (immediately).
Same shit, different month. I'm just tired of being sad for no reason.
Yeah, it's 3AM and I'm home from work. I'm not pleased, but I'm dealing with it. Debating putting in applications for a second job, but I'd just want something in the evenings (5PM-10PM or so) and I know no one would want to work around that. I need sleep AND sanity (for a given value of sanity...), I'm sorry to say.
But I'm dealing with it, like I said. I KNOW things will pick up around spring and Easter. I know I'll have a decent (if small in comparison to others') tax return. I know I'll be able to put money aside. But it means wrangling in other expenses. This weekend may be our last jaunt over to Seattle unless my hours pick up. I'd rather spend the money spent on travelling costs on something entertaining for home. Like a movie or a video game. At least those I can trade in. Or rent.
It's hard. I feel like I'm failing at this whole living on my own thing. Even though I'm not paying rent or utilities (despite me offering, Bob has declined numerous times). I didn't feel this low when we were living at Angie's. I could pull my rent and bills and everything else. Maybe I was just expecting this to be a similar situation as that. Where we had each other's backs instead of spending our time complaining about petty things.
[ herein was alot of wangst ]
Maybe I'll try to draw. And hope, when my paycheck hits the bank this evening, I have enough to cover everything I've planned this weekend so I'm not a disappointment.
Again.
Okay, so, the music may have been part of it. And me beating myself up over things I cannot fix or change (immediately).
Same shit, different month. I'm just tired of being sad for no reason.
Yeah, it's 3AM and I'm home from work. I'm not pleased, but I'm dealing with it. Debating putting in applications for a second job, but I'd just want something in the evenings (5PM-10PM or so) and I know no one would want to work around that. I need sleep AND sanity (for a given value of sanity...), I'm sorry to say.
But I'm dealing with it, like I said. I KNOW things will pick up around spring and Easter. I know I'll have a decent (if small in comparison to others') tax return. I know I'll be able to put money aside. But it means wrangling in other expenses. This weekend may be our last jaunt over to Seattle unless my hours pick up. I'd rather spend the money spent on travelling costs on something entertaining for home. Like a movie or a video game. At least those I can trade in. Or rent.
It's hard. I feel like I'm failing at this whole living on my own thing. Even though I'm not paying rent or utilities (despite me offering, Bob has declined numerous times). I didn't feel this low when we were living at Angie's. I could pull my rent and bills and everything else. Maybe I was just expecting this to be a similar situation as that. Where we had each other's backs instead of spending our time complaining about petty things.
[ herein was alot of wangst ]
Maybe I'll try to draw. And hope, when my paycheck hits the bank this evening, I have enough to cover everything I've planned this weekend so I'm not a disappointment.
Again.
