Stuff and SELFISH

[obliviousally_lj]

What do you do when the one person you care so much about just wants to let loose their hold on the mortal coil? And, despite all your best efforts, nothing seems to break through. They clam up, shut themselves away and self medicate through various means which aren't terribly healthy, but aren't like threatening in moderation. Your days are spent clingly to those good 'up' moments because you know the next crash is right around the corner and, despite the many times it's come around before, you still don't know how to deal with it without making the situation worse. You worry every single day, every moment when they're stormed off to be alone. You worry that, when you see them next, you'll be calling an ambulance.

I spend most of my time telling everyone that everything's okay. That -I'm- okay. And the rest of that time upset or worrying or crying. There's very few fleeting glimpses of fun and enjoyment most days. And I don't know what to do to make it better when I only get resistance to every suggestion. I'm trying so hard and nothing seems to give. I'm sorry I never have any good ideas. I'm sorry I can't make everything better. I want to. So badly, But I can't do it on my own. I wish I could, but I cannot.

I'm selfish. I don't know what I'd do without you. I know you may not care, or even believe me half the time. But I'd be lost without you.

Comments

[kitchkinet.livejournal.com]

You're not the selfish one. The other person is selfish. They are only thinking about themselves. How they think they have it so bad that there's only one way out, but are blind to the many ways they can put the pieces back together.

This is not your fault. Try your hardest to get through, but if it goes the way you fear it is headed, it is not your fault.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

You've never lived with someone who's bi-polar or, quite possibly, manic depressive, have you?

[kitchkinet.livejournal.com]

I was unaware of that. I know some bipolar people closely, but have not lived with one. :-/

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

The downside is: everything is so expensive. Medication is $80+ a month alone. And it's so difficult for social services or anything to give two shits about anyone who hasn't popped out a baby.

It's not that they WON'T get help, it's more like they CAN'T because of money restraints. When it comes down to it, deciding between, say, food or happy pills, one usually goes with food. :P

[jenova-silver.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

happy pills > internets

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

That would be a vaild point if I (or they) were paying for my internet.

PS: Anonymous is for cowards. Pussy.

[(Anonymous)]

Tell that to the kids on 4chan.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

Comparing anonymous on 4chan to comparing anonymous in my journal is like comparing apples to oranges.