Storytime, kiddies!

[obliviousally_lj]

So, I was bored and felt the urge to write. So I did.

Now, let it be known that I am a super shitty writer. I do it, like most things, to get stuff out of my head. Wether it be about me or about my characters, which this little story is. More specifically, it's about Phoenix and Kyle. I've been wanting to write something along these lines for awhile now. So I did. Whee! And please don't proofread or correct anything. I know alot of it's probably wrong, but I don't care. That's how it came out of my head. And hell, as long as everything's spelled right and there's puncutation it's legible. So suck it up, monkeys. And, yes, I wrote it without names one purpose. There's a bit of repetitiveness, I'm aware of that. I think it's intentional. Or it is now, cause it makes me look like less of a tard. :D

And no, this story is in no way related to myself. I don't think. Even though Phe's like an alter ego, not everything she says/does/thinks is the same as what I say/do/think. ^_-

If you'd like to read more about Phe, add phe to your friends list. It's friends only, so I'll be sure to add you back ASAP. It's not updated often, so you won't be being spammed or anything.

I'm most fond of the last three paragraphs.

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She left a note on his dresser before she slipped out into the night. She just couldn't do this anymore. Too much of her wanted him back in more ways than just for sex. Every time they fucked she thought she was winning him back, but she knew she wasn't. She knew that right now, he was far too immature and far too much of a horndog to have a steady relationship. Even though she'd given him everything he's ever wanted, and more. It wasn't right, to use him like this when she loved him too damn much. But what was even more fucked up, is that she was sure he was aware that she was just using him. Maybe he liked that he had this kind of control over her. She never was the sumbissive type. Always defiant. She liked to be taught a lesson, to be pinned down and fucked. She'd always been the dominant one in their relationship, despite how much he didn't like that. He never complained much, though. Always up for a good fuck.

She took a long drag off of her cigarette, blowing the smoke out and watching it whisp around in the warm California air. She'd never smoked before he left her. She had picked up so many bad habits since then. Smoking was one of them. She simply justified it by the fact that is calmed her nerves and she never did it any other time. Maybe she was subconciously doing these things to justify him leaving, too. She'd understand if he didn't want her back because of bad habits. Right now, though, she still didn't understand why he left her in the first place. Said she was too serious, too loyal, too devoted. Maybe she was. Maybe she was blind to the fact that he, or so she heard, was sleeping around behind her back while they were together. She flicked the rest of the cigarette, almost half of it, onto the sidewalk. How else was she suppose to be? They'd been together since before she could remember. Grew up together and knew each other inside and out. She'd kill for him. She'd die for him. He said she needed to find out who she was, to grow up. But why did he have to wait so long to break up with her? Why couldn't he have done it two or three years ago? Why did he just have to leave? Nothing said, no goodbyes, nothing. He just left and moved to California. Poof, just like that. No talking it over, working things out and going their seperate ways. Him leaving her didn't hurt as much as how he did it. Like there was nothing there. Like the last 5 years of their lives meant nothing to him. Maybe they didn't. Maybe he was just in it for the sex. Maybe he was really good at pretending he cared.

She pulled her messenger bacg over her shoulder, adjusting it to lay comfortably across her chest. The station was close and she had a 10 o'clock train out of this city to catch. She figured taking the train back home would be best. More time to try to sort out everything wrong with her life. Try to figure out where to put the pieces and make things make sense to her again. Nothing felt right in her life right now. The only time anythign felt normal anymore was when she was in bed with him. But she couldn't rely on that illusion to keep her warm at night anymore.

She pondered doing what he did. Just...leaving with what she has and hoping for the best. Instead of staying holed up in Queens and dealing evey day with the same assholes she grew up with. It might be good for her. He did say she was tough and would be just fine on her own. She thought over this a moment or two while waiting at the station. 9:50PM her watch read. 10 minutes and she'll be on her way home. She started her way toward the platform, glancing back once.

She lingered there for a second, as everything went to slow motion. She pictured him running in through the doors, looking for her. He would run up to her, tell her not to leave, that he loved her so much. Then they'd kiss and everything would magically be right again. She'd close her eyes...

And the vision was gone. She reminded herself that things like that don't happen in real life. You have to deal with what life throws at you or you fall and get left behind. She took a deep breath and turned back around, walking towards the train.

She didn't look back.

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Also wanted to add this, because the lyrics describe the story and their current relationship (or lack thereof) well...

Akira Yamaoka (preformed by Melissa Williamson) - You're Not Here

Blue sky to forever
Green grass blows in the wind, dancing
It would be a much better sight,
With you, With me.

If you hadn't met me
I'd be fine on my own, baby
Never felt so lonely then came along

So now what should I do?
I'm strung out addicted to you
My body aches now that you're gone
My supply fell through

You gladly gave me everything you had and more
You craved my happiness,
When you made me feel joy it made you smile
But now I feel your stress.
Love was never meant to be such a crazy affair, no?
And who has time for tears?
I never thought I'd sit around and cry for your love,
'till now...

Oh I feel your stress

Come on,
Oh, who has time for tears?
Oh, my baby

Comments

[sonofberkowitz.livejournal.com]

Gasp! Dirty things!

Re:

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

...and this is suprising...how? :D