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obliviousally_ljEveryday I am, basically, living in fear and anxiety.
I am stealing electricity from the other side of the house. I have to sleep all day, then wait and make sure no one is working on the house over there. Then sneak over through the basement to plug in a ridiculous extension cord so that we can have heat and light in one room upstairs and have a fridge that runs for half of the day.
I stole hot water from the other side of the house, as well. I carried it, bucket by bucket, upstairs to the tub so Tony and I could bathe in the comfort of our own home. Sink baths are only good for so long, and we both needed to wash our hair.
We have to pay the electric company $640 from Tony's account before they'll even set up service in my name. Setting up service in my name only requires a $100 security deposit. But, because Tony is still on the lease and we can't exactly ask our landlord to lie about something like that, we're going to be forced to pay the amount in full before the power company will even think about setting up service in another name. They even went so far as to require the landlord to contact them so they knew who was living here.
We do not have that amount of money. We have barely any money, actually. In fact, we're waiting on the $100 security deposit to be REFUNDED to us because the electric company took it AND THEN informed us they couldn't set up service in my name. They didn't even bother to let us know it would or wouldn't be refunded, I had to call back when I went to buy a little bit of food and had my card declined.
Phil was over today, working on the other side of the house, and I heard him talking to Scott (our landlord) about the power meters. Telling him one had a red tag. This is probably nothing, up until a few days ago, our upstairs power pulled from the other side of the house anyhow, die to weird wiring. An electrician came out the other day to re-wire things properly and that's what's caused us to be in the situation we are now. More than likely, something got mis-wired again due to this being such an old place and the wires being strange anyhow. I highly doubt it'd be apparent we're pulling anything more than what we were before now.
Still, the entire time he was here, we had to creep around the house because I don't know what to tell him about our power being turned off. I'm too ashamed to say that we don't have enough money to get it turned back on because that's such a fucking shitty thing.
Oh, sure, I can probably get it all sorted whenever I get my financial aid refund. But I don't know for sure what day that's going to be. I can get an advance on the 30th, but that's only $500. Half has to go to the rest of this month's rent, and I told the landlord I'd pay half of next month's. Either way, even if I do have that spare $250, I can't get the electricity turned back on with just that.
The electric company won't accept help from any outside agencies for this, either. Despite both Salvation Army and HEAP saying they would be able to help with $250 each. Do you know how much of a weight that would take off of us? We'd only have to shell out around $240 (rest of the old account, $100 for the security deposit). But the electric company refuses to take any outside money.
It's such enraging bullshit, dealing with this. I have no one I can ask for this sum of money and, honestly, I wouldn't want to ask one person for that much anyhow. I can offer commissions until I go blue in the face, but people just aren't interested. There's no temporary labor places I can go to, like Labor Ready, and I couldn't even get to a job if I did get sent out to one, because we have no insurance on the car right now.
And that's my life right now.
I'm trying really hard to keep my head up about things right now, but it's really difficult. I have two weeks of art homework to do still, I've pretty much bailed on my music class. My art final is next week (well, now through the end of finals week, it's not a difficult exam, same as the midterm, really). I work tomorrow for four hours and then nine hours a day all next week.
I get to wake up in the cold, wash up with cold water, pack my bookbag and leave early so I can stop in the nice bathroom on campus and make my hair look presentable. I get to not be able to eat anything unless someone at work has baked cookies or something.
I am stealing electricity from the other side of the house. I have to sleep all day, then wait and make sure no one is working on the house over there. Then sneak over through the basement to plug in a ridiculous extension cord so that we can have heat and light in one room upstairs and have a fridge that runs for half of the day.
I stole hot water from the other side of the house, as well. I carried it, bucket by bucket, upstairs to the tub so Tony and I could bathe in the comfort of our own home. Sink baths are only good for so long, and we both needed to wash our hair.
We have to pay the electric company $640 from Tony's account before they'll even set up service in my name. Setting up service in my name only requires a $100 security deposit. But, because Tony is still on the lease and we can't exactly ask our landlord to lie about something like that, we're going to be forced to pay the amount in full before the power company will even think about setting up service in another name. They even went so far as to require the landlord to contact them so they knew who was living here.
We do not have that amount of money. We have barely any money, actually. In fact, we're waiting on the $100 security deposit to be REFUNDED to us because the electric company took it AND THEN informed us they couldn't set up service in my name. They didn't even bother to let us know it would or wouldn't be refunded, I had to call back when I went to buy a little bit of food and had my card declined.
Phil was over today, working on the other side of the house, and I heard him talking to Scott (our landlord) about the power meters. Telling him one had a red tag. This is probably nothing, up until a few days ago, our upstairs power pulled from the other side of the house anyhow, die to weird wiring. An electrician came out the other day to re-wire things properly and that's what's caused us to be in the situation we are now. More than likely, something got mis-wired again due to this being such an old place and the wires being strange anyhow. I highly doubt it'd be apparent we're pulling anything more than what we were before now.
Still, the entire time he was here, we had to creep around the house because I don't know what to tell him about our power being turned off. I'm too ashamed to say that we don't have enough money to get it turned back on because that's such a fucking shitty thing.
Oh, sure, I can probably get it all sorted whenever I get my financial aid refund. But I don't know for sure what day that's going to be. I can get an advance on the 30th, but that's only $500. Half has to go to the rest of this month's rent, and I told the landlord I'd pay half of next month's. Either way, even if I do have that spare $250, I can't get the electricity turned back on with just that.
The electric company won't accept help from any outside agencies for this, either. Despite both Salvation Army and HEAP saying they would be able to help with $250 each. Do you know how much of a weight that would take off of us? We'd only have to shell out around $240 (rest of the old account, $100 for the security deposit). But the electric company refuses to take any outside money.
It's such enraging bullshit, dealing with this. I have no one I can ask for this sum of money and, honestly, I wouldn't want to ask one person for that much anyhow. I can offer commissions until I go blue in the face, but people just aren't interested. There's no temporary labor places I can go to, like Labor Ready, and I couldn't even get to a job if I did get sent out to one, because we have no insurance on the car right now.
And that's my life right now.
I'm trying really hard to keep my head up about things right now, but it's really difficult. I have two weeks of art homework to do still, I've pretty much bailed on my music class. My art final is next week (well, now through the end of finals week, it's not a difficult exam, same as the midterm, really). I work tomorrow for four hours and then nine hours a day all next week.
I get to wake up in the cold, wash up with cold water, pack my bookbag and leave early so I can stop in the nice bathroom on campus and make my hair look presentable. I get to not be able to eat anything unless someone at work has baked cookies or something.
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no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 12:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 05:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 06:35 pm (UTC)But you are right, in regards to things never seeming to get better. I'm very aware of that and it's one of the most frustrating things I've been dealing with. I want to land a steady job, I want to have a regular income, I want to be able to pay my bills and keep on top of things without having to stick my hands out in hopes someone will come along and be kind enough to help. I don't want to have to do what I've been doing, believe me.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 07:05 pm (UTC)No one has given me handouts in my life, you are in charge of yourself. When I was in school I was working full time and didnt have enough money for a phone, internet, or much food. But I made it work by myself and got through it by continuing to work hard and make my life better. It does come off as panhandling because it feels like you're always asking for money. I genuinely felt bad but once you got the paypal payment and seemed to not give a crap that was it. i didnt come from money, everything I have I worked my ass off for. You are responsible for your own life.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-29 12:02 am (UTC)