It comes to heal your pain, it comes with nothing else but love...

[obliviousally_lj]

I wish someone would give me some sort of guidebook to deal with these sorts of things. A nice step-by-step procedure to solving all of life's problems.

Everything seems to be falling apart around me and I still have to leave this place with a smile on my face and pretend it's not affecting me. I have to go to work and be perky, even if I'm ranting about life. I have to function like a normal human being, like a functional member of society.

It might end up being another night where I hide in the bathroom at work and cry.

I just don't know what to do. I can't afford her medication. I can't afford a therapist for her. At this point, I can't even afford more alcohol for her to self medicate with. Every moment she's out of my sight, I worry she's going to do something drastic. I don't know what I'd do if she did kill herself. Or even if she just got in the car and drove away. I'm devastated just when she's not talking to me. Could you imagine what I'd be like if she wasn't here anymore?

I already woke up today to discover she's cutting herself again.

At least, back home, she could check herself into the mental ward, if things got too bad. But I don't know how it is out here. And the hospital nearby creeps me the fuck out. I don't know what it is, but there's something off about it.

I just don't know what the fuck to do anymore, really. I wish I had the answer for everything, but my answers generally aren't the appropriate ones for the situation at hand.

Comments

[pathia.livejournal.com]

You guys are really on the wrong side of the water, there are lots of services over here, I don't know anything about over there :/

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

Yeah, over here, it's assumed everyone is military, and they don't have to worry about these sorts of things. Or, they have the money for them. Which is bullshit. :/

I'd be almost tempted to trek over there, since the ferry is free one way, and buses are cheap.

[pathia.livejournal.com]

There's all sorts of clinics with sliding scales, at least two or three that specialize in GLBT care etc, so they ask the right questions, and don't ask ones they don't need to.