Bullshit three ring circus sideshow...
Jan. 14th, 2008 04:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
obliviousally_ljFuck in a hat, this is hilarious and incredibly stupid.
http://duggmirror.com/comedy/100_Greatest_Quotes_from_fundamentalist_christian_chat_rooms/
Some true gems...
You got it backwards.
Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence.
Evolution is based on the blind acceptance of superstitions and fairy tales.
I...what? Seriously. What?
The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.
It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.
I believe the Bible was originally written in Hebrew, was it not? But I'm positive it sure wasn't English!
If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to thatperson if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucksfor the girl but what can we do lol
lol, indeed!
How can anyone beleive we evolved from monkeys heres a few questions for people who beleive that
1.If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys
2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them
3.do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years
4.how come we cant speak monkey
Just for a fact ape like creatures are monkeys Just in case certain people get on this thread
Seriously. I want to speak monkey!
A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate, sodomising the child is OK. If the man penetrates and damages the child then he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life. This girl, however does not count as one of his four permanent wives. The man will not be eligible to marry the girl's sister.
...wait. What?
Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus. We will be using crumpled up gray/brown construction paper to represent rocks, and will recite bible verses in opposition to their sinful nature. We will throw a volley or two of these "rocks" at every Gay person we happen to encounter that day.
I'm pretty sure this one tops the cake.
That right there? Pure genius.
Obviously.
I can't make any apologies to my religious friends for mocking this. I really, really can't.
http://duggmirror.com/comedy/100_Greatest_Quotes_from_fundamentalist_christian_chat_rooms/
Some true gems...
You got it backwards.
Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence.
Evolution is based on the blind acceptance of superstitions and fairy tales.
I...what? Seriously. What?
The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.
It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.
I believe the Bible was originally written in Hebrew, was it not? But I'm positive it sure wasn't English!
If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to thatperson if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucksfor the girl but what can we do lol
lol, indeed!
How can anyone beleive we evolved from monkeys heres a few questions for people who beleive that
1.If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys
2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them
3.do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years
4.how come we cant speak monkey
Just for a fact ape like creatures are monkeys Just in case certain people get on this thread
Seriously. I want to speak monkey!
A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate, sodomising the child is OK. If the man penetrates and damages the child then he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life. This girl, however does not count as one of his four permanent wives. The man will not be eligible to marry the girl's sister.
...wait. What?
Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus. We will be using crumpled up gray/brown construction paper to represent rocks, and will recite bible verses in opposition to their sinful nature. We will throw a volley or two of these "rocks" at every Gay person we happen to encounter that day.
I'm pretty sure this one tops the cake.
That right there? Pure genius.
Obviously.
I can't make any apologies to my religious friends for mocking this. I really, really can't.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Heh
Date: 2008-01-15 03:28 am (UTC)Aside, the original scrolls and papers that make up 'the Bible' were written in aramaic, not Hebrew. The fragments that continue to show up, such as the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Book of Lilith and the Book of Enoch, are in aramaic.
Honestly? This is why I can't stand religion in general.
Re: Heh
Date: 2008-01-15 03:36 am (UTC)I found this fabulous website detailing all the OLDER religions and beliefs from other cultures around the world that Christianity stole their ideas from. It's pretty awesome.
Ah! Here it is: http://www.exitmundi.nl/bible/
no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 04:58 am (UTC)That said, WTF, mate!?! That's enough to make ME want to slapabitch. It's stuff like this that reminds me why I like living where I live. Higher overall level of education and people tend to be more open-minded or at least just shrug off what they don't understand.
Gah.
*walks away, shaking head*
no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 05:49 am (UTC)I also know some of the passages they're misquoting and taking out of context (and doing so horribly).
Still, not really surprised.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 05:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 03:46 pm (UTC)These people shout tolerence for "their god" but don't tolerate other people... typical
/endrant
no subject
Date: 2008-01-16 02:31 pm (UTC)otherwise... Please continue to chortle heartily... I'll continue being mortified. D: