obliviousally_lj

Urrrrg. Zombie. x_o

To do today:
Deposit monies into banking place of business.
Mail out Mage book to

squeeji for TJ.
Call the University of A-kron (har har) about stuffs and more stuffs.
Go over to my mom's and let her know about apartment places and stuffs.

This whole apartment hunting thing is getting aggravating. I've realized that I'm simply not independent enough to do this, I think. I can't hold a job for more than 3-4 months because I get stir crazy or bored or unmotivated to even bother with it because it's the same thing every single day. I can't cope with that, I'm uncapable of living like that. Every day, get up, work, eat, come home, sleep, same thing. Every. Single. Day. For the rest of my natural existence. I'm incapable of it. And this whole moving thing really does scare the crap out of me. I've done it all my life, I know how to do it, it's like an art to me. But doing it on my own? I couldn't even cope with moving ACROSS town, let alone to another city. It's really the money thing, though. That's what scares me the most. I'm terrified that we'll get a nice place, a nice job, get situated and then something horrible will happen. We'll lose our jobs, someone will rob us or something and we'll be forced to move back here. And then we're back at square one, WITH a violently depressed TJ. I DON'T want that to happen. I don't want her to keep thinking that she's going to live and die in this shithole. I don't want her to think that everything is against her, because it's not. Life is just fucking hard and purposely throws you this dumb, aggravating shit to keep you on your toes. But I can only be so supportive before it starts to become too much for even me. And then I'm the one who says 'fuck it, I'm sleeping until all this shit passes over', which really solves nothing, just makes it worse and makes it stick around longer.

Wow, I'm angsting. Or something. Sorry about that, my fingers start typing and don't know when to stop.

I need to take a nap, sleep is catching up with me and I've got stuffs to do today.