This post may be offensive to certian parties. I don't care.

[obliviousally_lj]

Monkey Guyver: I'm not in the mood for this crap right now.
Monkey Guyver signed off at 3:24:08 PM.

What the fuck was that? You think you can just run away and avoid talking about this? What, do you think I was trying to start an argument with you? I wasn't. I was giving my fucking opinion on the subject. Are we not allowed to have opinions and maybe find a way to help our friends by working together in a civil manner anymore? Cause that's what it seems like to me. If you really think TJ has anger problems then you shouldn't be the one who blows up about it.

Just because you got the last word doesn't make you right.

Give me one example of TJ's 'anger problems'. Please, I'd like to try to see it from your point of view. Because I'm really not understanding this 'harboring alot of anger' thing you seem to think she has. If you think she's bottling everything up until one day she just snaps, fine, then say it. Just put it out there to be worked through instead of being vauge and saying she has 'anger problems'.

No one's perfect. Not you, not me, and not TJ. Everyone has their problems and everyone has their own way of dealing with these problems. People with anger problems verbally abuse others, they scream and shout and throw things. I've lived with people who have anger problems. People with anger problems hit things. Hit people, hit walls, beat the crap out of old merchandise in the back of Suncoast with heavy metal poles.

I wonder if we all don't have anger problems then.

Comments

[nachitor.livejournal.com]

I said she was harbouring anger. I never said anything about problems. Then you attacked me, just like she did, in her own way, when I said the same thing. I'm not in the mood, and I remain not in the mood. I'm tired of being the bad guy, so just go back to whatever you were doing, because this conversation was over, and remains over.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

*is almost rendered speechless*

Harboring anger, anger problems, it's all the same. You still haven't told me what anger you think she's harboring. And I never attacked you. Never. I was offering my perspective on it. You're the one who pitched a fit and signed off because I had a different opinion on the situation than you do. I didn't realize that meant I was attacking you. Next time I'll agree with everything you say.

Bullshit. This conversation is not over just because you say it is. I'm not going to back down because you're 'not in the mood' to talk about it. Hell, I wouldn't even have gotten involved if the whole thing hadn't upset TJ so much. I wanted to hear your side of the story and what had happened and I wanted to see if I could help smooth things over in any way because you both are overly stubborn and immature about working your problems out. I thought I could help. You know, like friends do. I don't know, maybe it's just too much to hear a view that's different from yours.

But what's really got me riled is that you've just convienently forgotten this has even happened. You went from this to cheerily commenting on my most recent post like nothing ever happened. Like nothing is out of place in your little world.

I'm not the one running from the real life issues here. If you actually want to talk about this, I'm always open to a civil conversation. Y'know, as long as nothing I say comes off as me attacking you.

[nachitor.livejournal.com]

You can make yourself out to be the innocent victim all you want. That doesn't make it fact. I don't want to talk about my problems, I don't want to talk about anyone's problems. It's obvious by now that it never does any good.

Yes, I am stubborn. That's not changing. However, another thing I am is open-minded. Yes, your opinion is different. Does that terrify me into wetting my pants? No, it does not. You have your view, I have my view. Neither one of us is going to change that view, and all that will happen is an argument, much like this one. It's like politics. You will never make the die-hard conservatives liberal. You will never make the die-hard liberals conservative. People are too set in their ways. It doesn't happen.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

How am I making myself out to be 'the innocent victim'? This isn't even about me. It never was to begin with.

And you know what not talking about your problems does? It makes your relationship suffer. Because that's what it's doing right now. That's what it's done in the past. Because neither of you can take the initative to open up and try to work things out. It never does any good because you two are, like I said before, both too stubborn and immature to sit down and talk things out. I can't understand why, you're both adults and you both have a decent level of intelligence and whatnot. But, for some unknown reason to the rest of the world, no one wants to make the first step.

And, bullshit again. From what I've see, I'm far more open minded than most people. No, I may not change my view (or maybe I will, hey, who knows), but I did not cause this argument. This was not started by me simply giving my outlook on things. I wasn't trying to shove what I know and what I've witnessed with TJ down your throat for you to accept. You jumped to conclusions and felt I was somehow attacking you. Making you feel threatened. Why? I never came off as agressive or angry in what I said. I just put it out there, no more, no less.

But whatever, I just suggest you actually swallow your pride and try to talk to TJ about what happened between you two today. Possibly a conversation that doesn't involve signing off when you feel threatened or her doing much of the same. Your relationship could very well be at stake if you two don't come to some kind of understanding.

[nachitor.livejournal.com]

I didn't feel 'threatened', I'm sure that would make you feel even more powerful, but it's not the case. At no point did I call you closed-minded. I'm simply pointing out a hard fact of the real world.

As to opening up? I've done it. I've taken the first step. The first dozen steps. But there's only so far I can go without any cooperation from the other side. There's only so many times I can be told, "it doesn't concern you" or "just drop it". And that's all I hear. Just because you're not there for these private conversations doesn't mean they don't happen. There are some aspects of our relationship that aren't public knowledge, believe it or not.

And there is such a thing as 'passive-aggressive', especially in text. I know. I'm well-versed in the practice. If you really weren't trying to make me feel like an asshole, then sorry for assuming the worst.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

I don't have the need to feel powerful. And I didn't say you were suggesting that I was close-minded. I was pointing out that I am alot more open-minded than most. Which means I'm able to take the out there opinions and file them away so I have that knowledge that people think like that. Maybe even take something I agree with away. But that's neither here nor there.

I've been in the place you're at now with TJ all of our time together. I hear is twice as much as you do, but I don't let it get to me because I know that's how she is. I know that she needs her time to sort things out. But that doesn't mean you go storming off when she won't talk to you. If she doesn't want to talk right then, you be supportive and you let her try to figure things out herself. Then she'll come around when she needs the help. But from what I heard today, you more or less sided with the person saying she had anger problems. Now, before you say it, this isn't me making you out to be the bad guy. This is me relaying what I was told. All TJ wanted was reassurance that she wasn't the fucking whackjob everyone thinks she is, that she's just different and she's herself and that a faceless name on LJ means nothing to her.

And I never said that things aren't said between you two in private. I'm well aware of it. Sometimes I'm angry because she won't talk to me as willingly or openly or honestly as she does you, but that's because you have a different relationship with her than I do. I can accept that and deal with it.

If I'm going to be any kind of agressive in text, it's going to be the most extreme kind. That's just how I am. And I wasn't trying to make you feel like an asshole. TJ told me that you two were fighting about the therian post and I thought I might be able to see what was up and get a feel for what was wrong.

I don't intentionally attack people unless I really don't like them, and that's not the case with you. So apology accepted.

[nachitor.livejournal.com]

Well then we are dealing with a classic misunderstanding. I didn't 'more or less' agree with Ms. Elitist. I explained that, to someone who didn't know her, her explanation could be interpreted as having anger problems. I went on to say, very clearly or so I thought, that I did not think she had anger problems, but that she did have anger. Which is entirely understandable. Everyone does. At this point TJ did her, 'well, obviously I'm useless!' thing and logged off. I didn't pursue the issue with a phone call because, as we've all learned, sometimes TJ just needs her own time.

Obviously this, coupled with my 5 rejections from workplaces today, didn't leave me in a very good frame of mind. In turn, I responded angrily to what I saw as an attack from you and left, not wishing to escalate the situation, and things went on from there.

So, there you have it. The story so far.