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Mar. 10th, 2003
Grawrgblar!
Mar. 10th, 2003 08:28 pmI's hungy. o_o But I dun wanna make meatloaf or anything yet, cause I don't know what kind TJ wants. :P Ah well.
This makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Yes. Now I know I, at least, have a good grasp on anatomy. And this makes me giggle:
'Your proportions and your anatomy drawing are very good - The Keeper of Dreams has a PERFECT rack! *snicker*'
XD Nice rack, TJ!
SPEAKING of TJ. Here's the rundown. Yes, her and John are apparently boyfriend/girlfriend. She got to give his tounge stud a test run. He likes her neck. *tee-hee!* And....um.....she met his daughter. Yes, he has a kid. The little girl lives with her mother. And he get's to see her on weekends and stuff. And he pays child support. Which means he's, like semi-responsible. Or something. I say semi, cause I don't know if he's paying it himself, or if it gets garnished from his pay. So that's a two way street. And he's introdused TJ to his parents and to two of his sisters (he's the only boy). And they all get along. TJ's not sure what his mothers' opinion on her is just yet, but mother's are usually very picky.
So, I think that's about it. Not a whole lot going on.
I realize I need to find -something- to do when TJ goes out. Because I'm not gonna be able to handle being so bored. If it gets warmer out, I can go wandering aimlessly around town and explore, caus eI haven't done that in -ages. Or hang out at the comic shop. I don't talke to anyone from school anymore, so that's out of the question. And there's not many people who'd just be happy wandering around talking with me. :P
I realize that I should meet more people. But I tried my damndest to get away from everyone after high school. And for good reason. Unless I really trusted the person, and they knew me really well, I was too damn weird for them. Or, they just kept me around for their amusement. So I stay away from most people I don't know very well unless I feel I can trust them and they're a good person. And those are few and far between. And if I feel uncomfortable with someone, I'll avoid them under all circumstances. That's what happened with the guy I met at the mall the one day. He was too smotth-talking and too upfront with everything he said. Even to the whole 'if you ever need anyone, you can call me', and stuff to that effect. And I don't like that. I know who I can call if I need someone, and it's not going to be someone I jsut met. Augh.
People just....scare me. To be honest. They're decieving and cruel.
I've been thinking about alot of trivial high school-type shit lately. Like how I'm 20 and have never french kissed anyone. I mean, c'mon. I've barely had an actual kiss, and me pecking someone on the cheek doesn't count for squat. And then I realize that I'm completley clueless around guys when it comes to that. And I don't trust them at all on that subject. Because the one guy that I did kiss turned around and denied it to everyone (Mikey) when it was brought up. Which really fucking hurt. But, I was maybe 14, and stupid. So maybe I deserved it.
I really don't mean to sound so angsty. And this is in no way related to what's up with TJ. Or maybe it is. I don't know anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm insanely happy for TJ. I'm happy that she's happy. But it just makes me think about all my fucking faults. Maybe it's just balance. One half optimism, one side pessimism. But I don't like being pessimistic. Because that's not how I am. I'm supposed to be happy, and upbeat, and making the most of every situation I come into.
I don't know. :P
I just need to get out more and interact with people. Get a fucking job (at least, to last until June), get out of this damn apartment and be social. Intead of laying her, wasting away in from of the computer, thinking about all of my petty faults. :P
And on top of all that shit, I. Can't. Draw. Anything.
I think I'm PMSing. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!!!!! *mauls things*
>_____________________________
This makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Yes. Now I know I, at least, have a good grasp on anatomy. And this makes me giggle:
'Your proportions and your anatomy drawing are very good - The Keeper of Dreams has a PERFECT rack! *snicker*'
XD Nice rack, TJ!
SPEAKING of TJ. Here's the rundown. Yes, her and John are apparently boyfriend/girlfriend. She got to give his tounge stud a test run. He likes her neck. *tee-hee!* And....um.....she met his daughter. Yes, he has a kid. The little girl lives with her mother. And he get's to see her on weekends and stuff. And he pays child support. Which means he's, like semi-responsible. Or something. I say semi, cause I don't know if he's paying it himself, or if it gets garnished from his pay. So that's a two way street. And he's introdused TJ to his parents and to two of his sisters (he's the only boy). And they all get along. TJ's not sure what his mothers' opinion on her is just yet, but mother's are usually very picky.
So, I think that's about it. Not a whole lot going on.
I realize I need to find -something- to do when TJ goes out. Because I'm not gonna be able to handle being so bored. If it gets warmer out, I can go wandering aimlessly around town and explore, caus eI haven't done that in -ages. Or hang out at the comic shop. I don't talke to anyone from school anymore, so that's out of the question. And there's not many people who'd just be happy wandering around talking with me. :P
I realize that I should meet more people. But I tried my damndest to get away from everyone after high school. And for good reason. Unless I really trusted the person, and they knew me really well, I was too damn weird for them. Or, they just kept me around for their amusement. So I stay away from most people I don't know very well unless I feel I can trust them and they're a good person. And those are few and far between. And if I feel uncomfortable with someone, I'll avoid them under all circumstances. That's what happened with the guy I met at the mall the one day. He was too smotth-talking and too upfront with everything he said. Even to the whole 'if you ever need anyone, you can call me', and stuff to that effect. And I don't like that. I know who I can call if I need someone, and it's not going to be someone I jsut met. Augh.
People just....scare me. To be honest. They're decieving and cruel.
I've been thinking about alot of trivial high school-type shit lately. Like how I'm 20 and have never french kissed anyone. I mean, c'mon. I've barely had an actual kiss, and me pecking someone on the cheek doesn't count for squat. And then I realize that I'm completley clueless around guys when it comes to that. And I don't trust them at all on that subject. Because the one guy that I did kiss turned around and denied it to everyone (Mikey) when it was brought up. Which really fucking hurt. But, I was maybe 14, and stupid. So maybe I deserved it.
I really don't mean to sound so angsty. And this is in no way related to what's up with TJ. Or maybe it is. I don't know anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm insanely happy for TJ. I'm happy that she's happy. But it just makes me think about all my fucking faults. Maybe it's just balance. One half optimism, one side pessimism. But I don't like being pessimistic. Because that's not how I am. I'm supposed to be happy, and upbeat, and making the most of every situation I come into.
I don't know. :P
I just need to get out more and interact with people. Get a fucking job (at least, to last until June), get out of this damn apartment and be social. Intead of laying her, wasting away in from of the computer, thinking about all of my petty faults. :P
And on top of all that shit, I. Can't. Draw. Anything.
I think I'm PMSing. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!!!!! *mauls things*
>_____________________________
