-_-

I hate it when I can't fix things.

When they're so far out of my reach and so distached from me.

Damnit, I fucking care about you. More than any other person I know. I cry over you and I do stupid shit for you. And I fucking lvoe you and you know that.

And you push me away.

Why do you do that? Is that fact that I give a shit too much? Would it be to hard to open up a little to me and tell me what's wrong? What I can do to help?

I can't do everything. I can't find you someone on my own, and you know that. I wish I could just snap my fingers and everything would be okay, But I can't, I fucking can't.

And it hurts when you do this to me. It really does. I try and try to help and you just toss it aside and ignore me. And that hurts. It frustrates me. It makes me sit in the car and bawl my eyes out beacuse I don't know what to do to help make you better. To help cheer you up.

I'm so sorry. I want to do so much to make things better, but I can't and god, does that make me feel fucking sick to my stomach.

"Never close your lips to those to whom you have opened your heart."
-Charles Dickens.

-_-

My computer was lagging something awful this morning. o_o Stupid computer.

My pixel doll site is up --> http://www.gurukitty.net/ally

Whee.

Your Livejournal Analasys

Your Livejournal's Age
According to the information you provided, your Livejournal was created on 2000-06-26, meaning that your journal has been around for 928 days. What does this mean? You are something of a dinosaur on Livejournal, having been around for over 2 years. You might even have one of those early adopter accounts. You probably joined Livejournal long before most of your friends, long before it was as popular as it was today. As a result, you are something of an icon in the community, and more than likely well known. Don't let it get to your head, or are you already bashing those poor newbies?

Your Livejournal Friends
Now let's talk about your friends list. You indicated that you have 45 LJ friends. A good, considerable number of friends. This list probably represents a spectrum of both your good close friends as well as a number of passing acquaintances. A few of them might be folks you met through LJ, or simply journals that you found interesting, as well as adding random people back who added you at some point in the past. A fairly reasonable friends list

You also have been listed as a friend by 29 users. That's a decent amount of people paying attention to your journal. By now your journal is fairly well developed, and so is the list of people who watch it. You've kept your journal interesting enough to keep your friends watching, as well as a few people that are sure to have picked up on it randomly along the line. You might get a few more followers as time goes on, but hey, you are right where it's expected.

Finally in this category, you have a friends to friends-of ratio of 1.551724137931. This is a relatively high ratio, meaning you add quite a few more people than have added you to their friends list. This may be a sign that you tend to add people fairly randomly to your list, although there is also a good chance that you simply do not advertise your own journal much, and don't expect too many people to be adding you back.

Your Posting Habits
You have indicated that to date, you have made 561 entries into your Livejournal. This gives us an average post rate of 0.60452586206897 posts per day. With this kind of post rate, you are updating at least once every other day, sometimes once a day. This seems to indicate that you like to keep your friends (or simply your journal) updated on the day to day progress of your life, no matter how boring or exciting. There are days when you simply have nothing to say, and on those days you simply say nothing, although you make a good effort to update when you can.

Your Commenting Habits
According to your information, you have posted 115 comments and have recieved 133 of them over the lifetime of your journal. Let's see what this information can mean.
First of all, this indicates that you have been getting an average of 0.23707664884135 comments for every Livejournal entry that you make. You don't quite hit one comment for every other post, but you can at least expect one for every few posts or so. While this might mean you have something of a dull journal, it might also be the result of a small friends list, or the simple fact that your friends are not the commenting type, it's hard to say.

A more fair measure of how many comments you get might be your average number of comments per post per friend, which is 0.0052683699742523. This may seem low to you, especially if you have lots of friends.

The final statistic is the ratio of your comments to comments you get. Your ratio is 0.86466165413534. The higher the ratio, the more talkative you are compared to your friends, comment-wise.

That's it for now! Perhaps there was something insightful in this analasys, and perhaps you learned absolutely nothing. Feel free to post your results on your own Livejournal, and invite your friends to take the Livejournal Analasys today!

-_-

So...I'm hoping things will be okay when TJ comes home. I hope she eats, and I hope she cheers up some.

I think we should stay away from the Southern Park mall, stuff like this always happens when we go out there.

You have no idea how unbelievably hard it is to tru to keep one person happy and not on the verge of killing themself. No idea. And I'm the -only- real friend she has here. Seriously. And dhe doesn't talk on the phone to anyone online anymore. Even when they want to. I'm not all that entertaining to talk to, believe me. I just listen and don't put much into the conversation. I hate talking on the phone, too, but I do it cause I like talking to the person on the other end. And if the phone's the only means of it at the moment, then I'll tough it out.

*sighs*

My mind's so confused and stressed right now. -_- I just want to make things better, but it's so hard.