Fuckin' christ...

[obliviousally_lj]

*points to keeperofdreams*

I've fucking done it again.

I can't understand why anyone would let some raving fuck chase them away from somewhere. It's fucking stupid. I don't give a fuck if people think your art sucks, that doesn't mean you back down. I mean, jeezus christ, I'd figure you'd have learned from the best on that. I can't standf it when you think your art is crap. People do like it, and even if you think my stuff is better, that doesn't mean you throw in the fucking towel and say "oh, screw this". You know the reason my stuff is even halfway decent? Because I practice. I draw and draw and draw. That's all I did through HS. And did I give a fuck when people didn't like my work? Did I get pissed when I wasn't getting any comments at Side7? Or and praising e-mails? Or hits on my website? NO. Because I was enjoying what I was doing and I was doing it FOR MYSELF. Not everyone else.

And you know the only person that ever wavered my decision to draw things a certian way? To fix this or that? You. And you're the only person who's ever made me cut back on drawing and stop showing people alot.

Why?

Because I didn't want you to be unhappy.

And now I'm seriously condisering putting off and comic-type stuff I wanted to do. Because things were going so fucking well. I was enjoying showing you my stuff, confident that you were cool with your art and all that.

Why?

Because I don't want you to be unhappy.

Comments

[keeperofdreams.livejournal.com]

It's just not...me anymore. Writing, drawing...I dunno. Working kinda makes one's creativity suffer, and I'm not about to quit my job just so I can sit around and make crappy pictures all day. If I have to sacrifice a piece of myself just so I can pay the bills, buy food, and whatnot, then so be it. That's what being an adult means. That's what happens. Besides, pieces of me have died before, and I still function. Barely, but I do. Shit happens. I'm not Michelle, and as much as I'd like to be, I'll never have her level of courage. Or her strength. Or her determination. I'm a quitter, and I figured by now you'd learn that.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

I know work makes one's creativity suffer. I've been there. Done that. And it sucks, yes, but that doesn't mean you give somethine up forever. Just put it on the backburner. And you shouldn't let pieces of yourself die. And I'll never think of you as a quitter. Because I don't give up on people. Espically you. And you know that.

It's just really hard for me to see people give up something about themselves.