i'll take 'awkward and uncomfortable experiences' for $500, alex

[obliviousally_lj]

Holy crap, tonight was way uncomfortable at game night.

See, a few friends and I get together for a small gaming group most Saturdays on campus. It's just a couple people, usually not more than four or five. We play board games and card games and generally bitch and bullshit with each other. We week or two ago, Jevin, who started the meetup, asked if we'd mind him posting on the Kent Area Furs list to see if anyone might be interested. We know a guy on the KAF list who is pretty cool, so we figured 'why not'?

So, this week, a kid from the KAF list shows up. Okay, no big deal.

He's wearing a tail and a baseball cap with ears glued on it. Okay, no big deal.

He's LOUD. Unnecessarily loud. But...okay, that can be dealt with. No big deal.

Jevin and I were watching some rap battles thing on youtube when he comes in and it had Freddie Mercury and he goes DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PLAY [insert Queen song here] BACKWARDS?? and he queues it up on his phone and it's not even interesting. Jevin and I nod, realizing that this is only going to go downhill fast.

So it's Jevin, myself, and the new kid. I suggest heading out to the lobby (we were in the room Jevin does his classwork at in MSB), which we all agree on, since there's more room. I go to get a snack from the machine and he follows me (apparently, not knowing where the lobby is), okay, no big deal. If he wants to mill about, whatever.

He stands next to me, LEANS OVER, AND RUBS HIS HEAD ON MY SHOULDER LIKE HE'S PRETENDING TO BE A CAT.

I firmly go 'NO', like I'm scolding a dog and he stops.

We go out to the lobby and play Fluxx. I desperately message Tony, who wasn't online, to inform him of what we're suffering through (excuse my fucked up spelling, I was hastily typing away on my phone):

HR RUBBED ON ME LIKE A CAT
HE HAS NO CONCEPT OF PERSONAL SPAC
HE REACHED RIGHT OVER AND GRABBEDY BIRD SKULL
I MIGHT COMMIT A HOMICIDE TONIGHT
HE JUST SAID THAT BECAUSE MY CHARCTER IS HALF FOX HALF OPOSSUM IT MUST BE A HIT WITH THE NECROPHILE
Because possums play dead and foxes are slutty
This is like real life taps
This is every stereotype
I'm speechles
I don't even experience this level of fur faggotry at Anthrocon
He just keeps rambling things off like they'll make him sound interesting
Ryan showed up and the kid yowled at him in greeting
I had the war creeper and he busted out singing war, what is it good for
I cannot make this shit up

UGH I ACCIDENTALLY CLOSE OUT THE TAB AND LOST A TON OF WHAT I'D TYPED.

So I'm just going to run down the key points:

• talked about sex and fetishes almost non-stop


• talked about how 'only the good bands get incestuous fanfics written about them'


• talked about incest, bandom incest, Supernatural incest


• talked about ~yiffy~ fanfic he read with Red XIII in it


• talked about seeing a 'hot anthro pic' and literally murring about it


• talked about how 'WEREWOLF SEX IS HOT'


• 'I WISH I HAD A NYMPHOMANIAC GIRLFRIEND'


• literally YOWLED at Ryan when he showed up


• rolled around on the couch purring and yowling like a cat in heat


• talked about his radioactive japanese catgirl from Hiroshima


• talked about wanting to play 'Strip Fluxx' (hint: I was the only female present)


• talked about how female hyenas have penises


• literally grabbed my crow necklace and asked IS THAT A BIRD FOSSIL


• when i told him what my ~fursona~ was, he replied with: 'YOU MUST BE A HIT WITH THE NYMPHOMANIACS'


• 'BECAUSE ALL FOXES ARE SLUTTY, AMIRITE??'


• SKYPED WITH HIS PARENTS AND INTRODUCED US ALL AS HIS FRIENDS. ON SKYPE. ON. SKYPE.


• loudly sung the chorus to 'War, What is it Good For' when the 'war' card for Fluxx ended up on the table

I know this isn't even everything, but jesus christ it was awkward and weird and uncomfortable. I'm not usually made uncomfortable by things or people like this, neither are most of the folks present. But this was just UGH and GROSS. No one wants to hear about your fetishes or your sex fanfics or anything like that YOU JUST MET US WHY WOULD YOU THINK THESE ARE OKAY CONVERSATION SUBJECTS. It was just a constant stream of creepy furfag commentary and internet ramblings. There were no real introductions, aside from names, no 'hey, what are you majoring in?' or 'are you a student, or just a local?' kind of small talk. Just straight into 'that's what she said jokes' and talking about murry purry furfag shit.

When I came home, I promptly removed him from the group. I don't even feel a little bit bad about it. Neither does anyone else.

[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]

Comments

[keeperofdreams.livejournal.com]

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. I WAS ON FUCKING SKYPE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?

OH. HELL. NO.

If he does that again I cannot be held responsible if I snatch his phone and turn the damn thing off. I DO NOT LIKE HAVING MY PICTURE TAKEN WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he turned the phone around while he was talking to his dad, I think, and introduced all of us as his ~friends~.

[arphalia.livejournal.com]

Auuuuuuuuugh! D:

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

IT WAS THE. WORST. I've never actually experienced someone this....furry in real life. When people act like this at conventions, I generally am either nowhere around those sorts of people, have easy ways out, don't notice it, or chalk it up to convention shenanigans. I think we were all just dumbfounded at the events unfolding in front of us to go DUDE, CUT IT THE HELL OUT.

[llyander.livejournal.com]

Uhm....

Wow.

Please tell me this kid was only like 16 or something so there's a vague chance he might actually grow out of behaving like that.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

He was as least old enough to be a freshman in college.

So...no.

[take-walker.livejournal.com]

Oh.

Oh my god.

You poor people. D: You have my sympathies.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

It was the worst. D: Now we have to make sure we don't let him catch wind of when game nights are (thankfully, we have them sporadically) so he doesn't just pop in because he was COMPLETELY. OBLIVIOUS. to anyone's uncomfortableness or dislike of subject matter, even when we were either unresponsive to his quips, ignoring his quips, or outright going 'NO' to his quips.

[take-walker.livejournal.com]

If he shows back up, it's gonna get even more awkward, but you really should make it clear to him that his behavior is not appropriate and is intolerable by the members of the group. And something tells me you're the one who will have to do it. c.c It's never easy.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's definitely not going to happen again. Not only is he not welcome (by ANYONE in the group, this was a unanimous decisions), but he's obnoxious as all get out.

[elmerg.livejournal.com]

Did you actually directly tell him 'Hey, tard, you're furry, cool, but THIS IS FREAKING UNCOMFORTABLE?'

In my experience with gamer nerd culture (particularly Vampire LARP peopel) people have a tendency not to notice stuff about themselves in that manner. Or their close groups of friends are all like that and thus it's 'normal' for them.

Make sure that he's aware, it's probably just his stunted social growth.

[keeperofdreams.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mentioned at one point that his constant overly sexual jokes weren't funny or appropriate and I might as well have been speaking in Greek to him or something.

[elmerg.livejournal.com]

OK. The way Ally's post read was that people just kindof gave him that thousand-yard 'GTFO you tard' stare without actually saying 'Dude, you're being an ass and we're uncomfortable.'

[keeperofdreams.livejournal.com]

Hah, no, we were all too speechless to say anything at first but when we realized that he wasn't going to stop/didn't notice how uncomfortably awkward we all were being around him, Ally and I spoke up. He still didn't get it though. Oy.

[starinthegutter.livejournal.com]

Some furries are fucking creepy. I've been staying away from cons for that reason... :|

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

Conventions, in my experience, aren't quite as bad. When you run into weirdos at a convention you can easily slip away for a variety of reasons (if you don't want to be an asshole to their face, which is probably what they need anyhow). This was different in the fact that he was invited and allowed to come to our private game night and then we were so dumbfounded by his activities that we didn't even know how to react or tell him to GTFO, especially considering we play in a public area for the most part. D:

[leopardwolf.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. That is just utterly hilarious, in a very sad and uncomfortable sort of way. I have had the misfortune of running across these types before, though thankfully all online. The handful that we were ever exposed to at cons or local meetups, were easily avoided once identified as 'omg that type of furry', or they weren't nearly *that* bad.

I would have asked the same question as Elmerg, if it was some sort of awkward social thing where he didn't understand what was appropriate and not so, and that he must have been trying overly hard to 'fit in' by going to every extreme he could. Either that, or is it possible he was a real life troll? I shudder to think that sort of behavior and talk can be normal for anyone, even among their closest friends.

Will you guys be able to continue doing your thing in the future, in public, without him trying to get involved again? I mean, if he comes back later even after you guys tried to express how uncomfortable it made you, that's going to make it worse if you can't make him go away and leave you alone. Hopefully he won't turn into a creepy stalker.

[obliviousally.livejournal.com]

He definitely wasn't a troll. We're all well versed in trolling and this was way beyond legitimate and purposeful trolling. He also hangs around another local furry (who is much chiller), so unless it's a really determined troll, no way. Besides, it's not as if we're MURRY PURRY, we just get together to do board/card games and happen to be in the fandom in some way or another.

We removed him from our (private) game group. He was initially added by a friend when he expressed interest in coming to our little game nights. It was pretty much unanimous to remove him. He may know that we do game nights on certain nights around a certain time, but it's not every single week and, if he starts coming and not understanding that he's not welcome (which will not be hard to figure out in the future), we can call campus security on him, or retreat to a private area (and if he still tries to stick around, call campus security).

Most like this that I've been exposed to were at conventions, but they were expected there, so it was never as much of a OMFG U SRS kind of thing. And I don't get uncomfortable over much, believe me, but this kid saw the line of acceptable first impression behavior and said to himself 'challenge accepted'. I really can't think that someone - especially a college student, freshman or not - would know what is and isn't acceptable behavior in meeting new people. I'm good with dealing with a wide variety of personalities and social awkwardness, but this kid seems to have thought that, because he was around other 'furries' (also, not everyone who comes to our group is a furry or in the fandom), he could go balls to the wall talking about things 'normal people' don't talk about. Incest, bestiality, and 'hot anthro girls' are not first meeting sort of chatter for anyone, even people in a fandom where those things are rampant.