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obliviousally_ljSo most people know Cleveland topped the Forbes list of Most Miserable Places to Live this last year and with damn good reason. This area is a cesspool and we all know it, some of us ('proud' north-east Ohioans) don't have the balls (or are too dumb) to admit it.
Of course, The Scene, one of Cleveland's local free magazines had to put in their two cents. Hey, no problem trying to defend a pile of shit if it's your pile of shit, right?
Except, they did it terribly and I will tell you how.
Now, I'm not going to lie. That's a good looking guy. BUT HE'S NOT A CLEVELAND NATIVE. Which, in my mind, doesn't really count. People who look like him are not born and raised here. If someone that good looking says their hometown is Cleveland, they were either born in a vat or they're LYING.
What do the above paragraphs mean? CLEVEAND LEADS THE NATION INDRIFTERS CHEATERS.
AshleyMadison is 'an online dating service marketed primarily to people who are 'already in a relationship'. There's been a variety of controversy with them over the last couple years, but I like this one the best: In December 2009, Ashley Madison attempted to purchase $200,000 worth of advertising on Toronto Transit Commission streetcars. The plan was rejected after five of the six committee members voted against it. If approved, 10 streetcars would have been skinned with Ashley Madison's slogan 'Life is short. Have an affair' The TTC commissioner showed displeasure in the ads stating, 'When its a core fundamental value around cheating or lying, we're not going to let those kinds of ads go on'.
This isn't 'amorous', it's sleazy. At best.
Also, har-har, you're so witty article writer.
Also, thank god someone finally gave me the verification I needed all these years: I DON'T BELONG HERE.
Houses are dirt cheap here because NO ONE WANTS TO BE HERE AND IT'S A CESSPOOL.
On the other hand, it's probably more a matter of Ohioans having nothing to do and practically being snowed in for half the year. Guess if you can't get out to cheat on your husband or wife, you might as well read a book.
But we seriously close nothing (rarely) when nature dumps snow on us.
Of course, The Scene, one of Cleveland's local free magazines had to put in their two cents. Hey, no problem trying to defend a pile of shit if it's your pile of shit, right?
Except, they did it terribly and I will tell you how.
1st Place, Eco-Friendly Laundry
According to a study conducted by Nalgene — a plastics company that not so long ago had a problem with toxic bottles but has never been questioned in terms of its statistical potency — Cleveland ranks first in the nation for "hanging out clothes to dry when possible." And it should be no surprise: Cleveland has been going green since way before Al Gore made the world safe for treehugging. Hell, he probably learned it from us, though he'd also probably claim he invented it.
This is a ridiculous point to start your article off on. Trying to get points from the ~green~ folks, obviously. Big deal, hanging out laundry to dry. You know why? Because most people in the area don't have the money to spend on drying laundry. Maybe they don't want to sit at the laundromat (or don't have the extra quarters) and wait for laundry to dry. Also, generally one hangs their clothes to dry in the warm months. In those months, one generally doesn't want a hot dryer running anyhow.According to a study conducted by Nalgene — a plastics company that not so long ago had a problem with toxic bottles but has never been questioned in terms of its statistical potency — Cleveland ranks first in the nation for "hanging out clothes to dry when possible." And it should be no surprise: Cleveland has been going green since way before Al Gore made the world safe for treehugging. Hell, he probably learned it from us, though he'd also probably claim he invented it.
1st Place, Masculine Hunks of Beef
Cleveland is not just the birthplace of Midwestern ruggedness — it's the bona fide home of the hottest single man in America. Earlier this year, Cosmopolitan magazine named Ryan "Mickey" McLean, a chef at Cleveland restaurants Flying Fig and Umami, its Bachelor of the Year. This represents not merely a sash and crown for Mickey, but a jolt of confidence for every male who walks this promised land — even the humble, questionably hunky weekly newspaper journalists of Polish descent among us. For example:
Polish Journalist: Ever heard of Cosmo?
Charming Lass: Do you write for them?
Polish Journalist: No, but have you heard about their bachelor of the year? He's from Cleveland?
Charming Lass: Is that you?
Polish Journalist: No, but I blogged about it for Scene.
Boom. E-mail's at the end of the article, ladies. Don't be shy.
Cleveland is not just the birthplace of Midwestern ruggedness — it's the bona fide home of the hottest single man in America. Earlier this year, Cosmopolitan magazine named Ryan "Mickey" McLean, a chef at Cleveland restaurants Flying Fig and Umami, its Bachelor of the Year. This represents not merely a sash and crown for Mickey, but a jolt of confidence for every male who walks this promised land — even the humble, questionably hunky weekly newspaper journalists of Polish descent among us. For example:
Polish Journalist: Ever heard of Cosmo?
Charming Lass: Do you write for them?
Polish Journalist: No, but have you heard about their bachelor of the year? He's from Cleveland?
Charming Lass: Is that you?
Polish Journalist: No, but I blogged about it for Scene.
Boom. E-mail's at the end of the article, ladies. Don't be shy.
Now, I'm not going to lie. That's a good looking guy. BUT HE'S NOT A CLEVELAND NATIVE. Which, in my mind, doesn't really count. People who look like him are not born and raised here. If someone that good looking says their hometown is Cleveland, they were either born in a vat or they're LYING.
1st Place, Amorous Relationships
It can get lonely and cold in the heart of the Midwest, and we're a damned resourceful lot. Citizens with certain needs are adept at seeking warmth and comfort from whatever source necessary. That surely explains why Ohio tops the nation in growth on AshleyMadison.com, a dating site that's devoted to helping people develop relationships with persons other than their significant others.
"There has never been a better place for us anywhere [in the world or elsewhere] than Ohio," the company's founder and CEO, Noel Biderman, recently proclaimed. And who are we to disagree?It can get lonely and cold in the heart of the Midwest, and we're a damned resourceful lot. Citizens with certain needs are adept at seeking warmth and comfort from whatever source necessary. That surely explains why Ohio tops the nation in growth on AshleyMadison.com, a dating site that's devoted to helping people develop relationships with persons other than their significant others.
What do the above paragraphs mean? CLEVEAND LEADS THE NATION IN
AshleyMadison is 'an online dating service marketed primarily to people who are 'already in a relationship'. There's been a variety of controversy with them over the last couple years, but I like this one the best: In December 2009, Ashley Madison attempted to purchase $200,000 worth of advertising on Toronto Transit Commission streetcars. The plan was rejected after five of the six committee members voted against it. If approved, 10 streetcars would have been skinned with Ashley Madison's slogan 'Life is short. Have an affair' The TTC commissioner showed displeasure in the ads stating, 'When its a core fundamental value around cheating or lying, we're not going to let those kinds of ads go on'.
This isn't 'amorous', it's sleazy. At best.
1st Place, Clam Bakes Not Thrown In New England
Yes, clam bakes are the natural domain of New England, what with its ocean-fresh bounty conveniently located a bivalve's throw away. Problem is, clam bakes there invariably are served with a roomful of incessant New Englanders. But there's good news: Cleveland, land of pierogi and all other things starchy and fat and wholesome, ranks second on the list. So say the good people at Maholo.com, a self-described 'human-powered search engine,' which surely must be painful work.
...really? No, really? Seriously? I've legitimately never heard of this Mahalo search site until I read this article. Aren't we in the age of 'if it's not Google, it doesn't matter'?Yes, clam bakes are the natural domain of New England, what with its ocean-fresh bounty conveniently located a bivalve's throw away. Problem is, clam bakes there invariably are served with a roomful of incessant New Englanders. But there's good news: Cleveland, land of pierogi and all other things starchy and fat and wholesome, ranks second on the list. So say the good people at Maholo.com, a self-described 'human-powered search engine,' which surely must be painful work.
2nd Place, Best Place Not to Be Killed by Mother Nature
Among the countless key distinctions overlooked by the pencilnecks at Forbes is the ironclad safety of Cleveland's geography, which cannot be compromised even by jinxes such as ironclad proclamations. Earthquakes, floods, typhoons, hurricanes, tsunamis - these are mere Weather Channel entertainments on our shores.
And don't think SustainLane's most recent U.S. City Rankings didn't take notice. The online green resource conglomerate christened Cleveland the second-least-likely city in America to suffer from a natural disaster.
Allegedly tying for first place were Mesa, Arizona - which has rattlesnakes and no water - and Milwaukee, Wisconsin, whose populace boasts a blood-alcohol content of 26 percent, making it a dangerous place to do anything.
Admittedly, this one's pretty accurate. We don't get a lot of really awful weather here. Maybe a few tornado scares in the summer and subzero temps in the winter, but it's not bad as long as you're prepared for the different seasons.Among the countless key distinctions overlooked by the pencilnecks at Forbes is the ironclad safety of Cleveland's geography, which cannot be compromised even by jinxes such as ironclad proclamations. Earthquakes, floods, typhoons, hurricanes, tsunamis - these are mere Weather Channel entertainments on our shores.
And don't think SustainLane's most recent U.S. City Rankings didn't take notice. The online green resource conglomerate christened Cleveland the second-least-likely city in America to suffer from a natural disaster.
Allegedly tying for first place were Mesa, Arizona - which has rattlesnakes and no water - and Milwaukee, Wisconsin, whose populace boasts a blood-alcohol content of 26 percent, making it a dangerous place to do anything.
2nd Place, Growing Things Ourselves
Our ever-expanding world of farmers' markets and produce co-ops and urban farms tell you all you need to know here: Cleveland was named the nation's second-best place for bringing the abundant goodness of our fertile fields straight to our plates - and that ranking from SustainLane surfaced before the great urban farm boom of summer 2010. (To wit: The folks behind the new six-acre farm in Ohio City declare it to be the largest urban farm in America, and so it is.)
Minneapolis took home first place because they do not yet have grocery stores in their area.
I can't bitch either way here. I doubt we're a whole lot better than other midwestern cities with growing our own food locally and all, but I don't think we're hot shit about it.Our ever-expanding world of farmers' markets and produce co-ops and urban farms tell you all you need to know here: Cleveland was named the nation's second-best place for bringing the abundant goodness of our fertile fields straight to our plates - and that ranking from SustainLane surfaced before the great urban farm boom of summer 2010. (To wit: The folks behind the new six-acre farm in Ohio City declare it to be the largest urban farm in America, and so it is.)
Minneapolis took home first place because they do not yet have grocery stores in their area.
Also, har-har, you're so witty article writer.
1st Place, Access to Fresh Water
Fun fact: The Great Lakes hold 20 percent of the world's fresh water. Fun fact 2: Arizona and other Third World nations are just now learning what we in Ohio already know - that water is a preferable component of staying alive. While the rest of America rations its supply, we'll be merrily dashing through the sprinkler of sustainability. So says the same analysis from SustainLane, which quite possibly is receiving monthly checks from Positively Cleveland.
Between our thriving agriculture and our plentiful fresh water, Cleveland will be Club Med for the coming apocalypse. Call us miserable one more time and see if you get an invite.
Can I just point out that the Cuyahoga River once caught on fire because it was so polluted? Also, just because Cleveland sits on the Great Lakes does not make it any better than anywhere else you can get fresh water from.Fun fact: The Great Lakes hold 20 percent of the world's fresh water. Fun fact 2: Arizona and other Third World nations are just now learning what we in Ohio already know - that water is a preferable component of staying alive. While the rest of America rations its supply, we'll be merrily dashing through the sprinkler of sustainability. So says the same analysis from SustainLane, which quite possibly is receiving monthly checks from Positively Cleveland.
Between our thriving agriculture and our plentiful fresh water, Cleveland will be Club Med for the coming apocalypse. Call us miserable one more time and see if you get an invite.
1st Place, Driving Made Simple
Cleveland is America's top city for metro-area street congestion, in that we don't have any. SustainLane declares it to be true, and thus it is.
Not surprising really, given that 95 percent of trips within Cuyahoga County can be made in less time than it takes to withstand a Michael Stanley Band twin spin on WNCX. The rare exception are those excursions that require driving across the entire county; but those trips are both rare and unnecessary thanks to Cleveland's happy tradition of East/West segregation and the existence of two extremely similar shopping malls at each boundary of the county.
Cleveland is America's top city for metro-area street congestion, in that we don't have any. SustainLane declares it to be true, and thus it is.
Not surprising really, given that 95 percent of trips within Cuyahoga County can be made in less time than it takes to withstand a Michael Stanley Band twin spin on WNCX. The rare exception are those excursions that require driving across the entire county; but those trips are both rare and unnecessary thanks to Cleveland's happy tradition of East/West segregation and the existence of two extremely similar shopping malls at each boundary of the county.
2nd Place, Highway Courtesy
If there's no traffic, there's no reason to be angry. So we learn from the results of AutoVantage.com's mellifluously named 'In the Driver's Seat Road Rage Survey.' The one-stop discount car service club reveals that Cleveland motorists are the second-most-courteous drivers in the nation, which means that we smile and wave politely as we remind you to fuck yourself. First place goes to Portland, Oregon, where travelers are too busy clutching their bicycle handlebars and skim lattes to safely extend the finger.
Two for the price of one! Also: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.If there's no traffic, there's no reason to be angry. So we learn from the results of AutoVantage.com's mellifluously named 'In the Driver's Seat Road Rage Survey.' The one-stop discount car service club reveals that Cleveland motorists are the second-most-courteous drivers in the nation, which means that we smile and wave politely as we remind you to fuck yourself. First place goes to Portland, Oregon, where travelers are too busy clutching their bicycle handlebars and skim lattes to safely extend the finger.
5th Place, Best Place for Young Professionals
For all the talk about Northeast Ohio's problem with brain drain and the ever-present notion that every college graduate from here can't wait to get the hell out of town, CNN reports stark evidence to the contrary: Cleveland, besides being home to a handful of fabulous universities, is among the top five cities for those new graduates to settle.
And they crunched the numbers: "The list is based on the ranking of the top U.S. cities with the highest concentration of young adults (age 20-24) from the U.S. Census Bureau (2006), inventory of jobs requiring less than one year of experience from CBcampus.com (2009), and the average cost of rent for a one bedroom apartment from Apartments.com (2009)."
They don't say whether those entry-level jobs include milkshake associate at Rally's, but we've got no plans to press them on it.
Probably the #1 place to watch them waste away as their dreams and lives shrivel up and die. Most kids out of college can't get anything better than fast food/retail around here.For all the talk about Northeast Ohio's problem with brain drain and the ever-present notion that every college graduate from here can't wait to get the hell out of town, CNN reports stark evidence to the contrary: Cleveland, besides being home to a handful of fabulous universities, is among the top five cities for those new graduates to settle.
And they crunched the numbers: "The list is based on the ranking of the top U.S. cities with the highest concentration of young adults (age 20-24) from the U.S. Census Bureau (2006), inventory of jobs requiring less than one year of experience from CBcampus.com (2009), and the average cost of rent for a one bedroom apartment from Apartments.com (2009)."
They don't say whether those entry-level jobs include milkshake associate at Rally's, but we've got no plans to press them on it.
1st Place, Civic Responsibility
We Clevelanders are all about pitching in for the greater good. It's why we rated in the top five among politically active cities in a Men's Health study, and why the national political magazine The New Republic declared us the most supportive in census participation (as measured by our willingness to withhold judgment, scorn, and violence when cheerful strangers knock on our doors).
Cleveland's census participation rate clocked in at over 80 percent, a classification reserved for those who wear the fuzzy pajamas of democracy, equality, and fair representation. On the other hand, the national average came in at 74 percent, just a few slippery digits shy of 'Communist Agitator' on the ol' Patriotism meter.
We Clevelanders are all about pitching in for the greater good. It's why we rated in the top five among politically active cities in a Men's Health study, and why the national political magazine The New Republic declared us the most supportive in census participation (as measured by our willingness to withhold judgment, scorn, and violence when cheerful strangers knock on our doors).
Cleveland's census participation rate clocked in at over 80 percent, a classification reserved for those who wear the fuzzy pajamas of democracy, equality, and fair representation. On the other hand, the national average came in at 74 percent, just a few slippery digits shy of 'Communist Agitator' on the ol' Patriotism meter.
1st Place, Political Influence
From our governor to our senators to the guy who puts the platinum rims on the wheels of Jimmy Dimora's outdoor grill, no publicly elected position gets decided without Cleveland.
Nielsen has the numbers to back it up. The media barometer claims Cleveland was the most saturated market for political ads last election season, with 23.4 percent of all commercials lambasting or supporting some cause or candidate.
What does this prove? First, that we're very important people, not unlike Sarah Palin's friends in the Dancing With the Stars voting bloc. Second, that we would way rather see politicians on our televisions than at our front door.
Another two-fer. I can't say a whole lot here, I'm not a terribly political person.From our governor to our senators to the guy who puts the platinum rims on the wheels of Jimmy Dimora's outdoor grill, no publicly elected position gets decided without Cleveland.
Nielsen has the numbers to back it up. The media barometer claims Cleveland was the most saturated market for political ads last election season, with 23.4 percent of all commercials lambasting or supporting some cause or candidate.
What does this prove? First, that we're very important people, not unlike Sarah Palin's friends in the Dancing With the Stars voting bloc. Second, that we would way rather see politicians on our televisions than at our front door.
15th Place, Manliness
When you desire reliable data, you don't head to Forbes — you head to Mars Chocolate's "America's Manliest Cities" study, presented by Combos pretzel snacks. Here you'll learn that Cleveland ranked as the 15th manliest among the 50 largest cities. Note also that we achieved this ranking without even asking Combos about it, thus clearing the way for sissy towns like Nashville (home to skinny-jean-wearing indie alt-country rockers) and Charlotte (NASCAR country) to feel better about their pansy-ass pursuits.
Fifteen? Really? You are just grasping here. Also, a good portion of Ohioans are NASCAR fans. Sure, they're mostly the ones who go to Walmart in their pajamas and let their clan of children run free, but that's also most Ohioans anyhow.When you desire reliable data, you don't head to Forbes — you head to Mars Chocolate's "America's Manliest Cities" study, presented by Combos pretzel snacks. Here you'll learn that Cleveland ranked as the 15th manliest among the 50 largest cities. Note also that we achieved this ranking without even asking Combos about it, thus clearing the way for sissy towns like Nashville (home to skinny-jean-wearing indie alt-country rockers) and Charlotte (NASCAR country) to feel better about their pansy-ass pursuits.
Top 10 Coolest Suburb
Travel + Leisure magazine, that recognized arbiter of exotic locales you will never see, deemed Lakewood worthy of inclusion on its list of top ten cool suburbs across America.
"Set along the cliffs of Lake Erie, this inner-ring suburb of Cleveland has been on the radar of the young and urbane for some time," they wrote. 'It has a well-established (and thriving) nightlife and gastronomic scene along Detroit Avenue, as well as a sizable gay and lesbian community.' Plus, it's second to none when it comes to getting piss-drunk for six dollars.
I'll let this one slide. Lakewood is pretty cool, all things considered.Travel + Leisure magazine, that recognized arbiter of exotic locales you will never see, deemed Lakewood worthy of inclusion on its list of top ten cool suburbs across America.
"Set along the cliffs of Lake Erie, this inner-ring suburb of Cleveland has been on the radar of the young and urbane for some time," they wrote. 'It has a well-established (and thriving) nightlife and gastronomic scene along Detroit Avenue, as well as a sizable gay and lesbian community.' Plus, it's second to none when it comes to getting piss-drunk for six dollars.
1st Place, Most Affordable Getaway
Travel + Leisure kept the North Coast on speed dial this year, also naming our humble burg the 'Most Affordable Getaway' in America. Respondents to the survey gave high marks not only for affordable travel, but for our world-renowned classical music and thriving arts scene.
(Full disclosure: They gave us low marks for 'Attractiveness' and 'Stylishness.' To each his own, we suppose, though if you can't love a chubby, unshaven guy drinking a PBR tall boy in a 'Deadliest Catch' T-shirt, you probably don't belong here anyway.)
Anyone who thinks they want to come here? You don't. At all. Unless you want to know what crushing depression feels like on a daily basis.Travel + Leisure kept the North Coast on speed dial this year, also naming our humble burg the 'Most Affordable Getaway' in America. Respondents to the survey gave high marks not only for affordable travel, but for our world-renowned classical music and thriving arts scene.
(Full disclosure: They gave us low marks for 'Attractiveness' and 'Stylishness.' To each his own, we suppose, though if you can't love a chubby, unshaven guy drinking a PBR tall boy in a 'Deadliest Catch' T-shirt, you probably don't belong here anyway.)
Also, thank god someone finally gave me the verification I needed all these years: I DON'T BELONG HERE.
1st Place, Affordable Housing
RealtyTrac, an online database of foreclosed and bank-owned properties, determined that Cleveland is the most affordable U.S. city when it comes to snapping up foreclosed properties — at an average cost of $79,762. Realty giant Coldwell Banker notes that Cleveland is also second-best in the realm of cheap housing: $87,240 on average for a four-bedroom, two-bathroom home.
Rick Sharga, RealtyTrac's vice president of pithy quotes, notes that the general state of disrepair and dilapidation of foreclosed properties in Ohio is a leading cause of the rock-bottom pricing - which also makes us No. 1 for handyman specials and realtors skilled at using vaguely truthful but upbeat synonyms for 'crummy.'
♫ BUY A HOME FOR THE PRICE OF A VCR ♫RealtyTrac, an online database of foreclosed and bank-owned properties, determined that Cleveland is the most affordable U.S. city when it comes to snapping up foreclosed properties — at an average cost of $79,762. Realty giant Coldwell Banker notes that Cleveland is also second-best in the realm of cheap housing: $87,240 on average for a four-bedroom, two-bathroom home.
Rick Sharga, RealtyTrac's vice president of pithy quotes, notes that the general state of disrepair and dilapidation of foreclosed properties in Ohio is a leading cause of the rock-bottom pricing - which also makes us No. 1 for handyman specials and realtors skilled at using vaguely truthful but upbeat synonyms for 'crummy.'
Houses are dirt cheap here because NO ONE WANTS TO BE HERE AND IT'S A CESSPOOL.
1st Place, Big Trees
You may not know what a cucumber magnolia tree is, but rest assured you can tell the rest of the country that you have the girthiest one on the continental block. The National Register of Big Trees (and there is such a thing) brought good news to Ohio when it unleashed the long-awaited 2010 version of its list of biggest trees, which is helpfully broken down by species. Measuring 79 feet tall and 24 feet in girth, a 430-year-old cucumber magnolia in North Canton was declared the mightiest in America.
But that's not all: Ohio also took home honors for biggest trees in the following species: American sycamore, eastern cottonwood, American elm, shingle oak, Kentucky coffeetree, Atlantic white-cedar, Oriental arborvitae, hortulan plum, and downy hawthorne. In short, we win. So the next time someone says, "You had the largest population drop among any big city in America," there's really no more appropriate retort than 'My Oriental arborvitae is bigger than yours.'
Another grasper. This isn't even relevant to anything, really.You may not know what a cucumber magnolia tree is, but rest assured you can tell the rest of the country that you have the girthiest one on the continental block. The National Register of Big Trees (and there is such a thing) brought good news to Ohio when it unleashed the long-awaited 2010 version of its list of biggest trees, which is helpfully broken down by species. Measuring 79 feet tall and 24 feet in girth, a 430-year-old cucumber magnolia in North Canton was declared the mightiest in America.
But that's not all: Ohio also took home honors for biggest trees in the following species: American sycamore, eastern cottonwood, American elm, shingle oak, Kentucky coffeetree, Atlantic white-cedar, Oriental arborvitae, hortulan plum, and downy hawthorne. In short, we win. So the next time someone says, "You had the largest population drop among any big city in America," there's really no more appropriate retort than 'My Oriental arborvitae is bigger than yours.'
1st Place, Bank ATM Gouging
The next time you pry 20 bucks plus convenience fees from your ATM, thank the banking gods who deemed your sensible town the best place in America when it comes to low ATM surcharges. According to Bankrate.com, area ATMs gouge us for an average of $1.83 per visit, compared to the national average of $2.33. And that extra 50 cents goes a long way here.
....really?The next time you pry 20 bucks plus convenience fees from your ATM, thank the banking gods who deemed your sensible town the best place in America when it comes to low ATM surcharges. According to Bankrate.com, area ATMs gouge us for an average of $1.83 per visit, compared to the national average of $2.33. And that extra 50 cents goes a long way here.
1st Place, People Who Read
Both coasts will forever tout their intellectual superiority and fine newspaper establishments, but Cleveland - not L.A. or New York, mind you - serves up the most-engaged readership in all this fine land. According to a study by the Scarborough Research company, Cleveland and Akron boast the top combined print and web readership nationwide, with 84.7 percent of the population claiming they read the news on a regular basis. Whether they're looking for Family Circus or a deal on an '87 Taurus, we're not asking.
I....doubt that so hard. Both coasts will forever tout their intellectual superiority and fine newspaper establishments, but Cleveland - not L.A. or New York, mind you - serves up the most-engaged readership in all this fine land. According to a study by the Scarborough Research company, Cleveland and Akron boast the top combined print and web readership nationwide, with 84.7 percent of the population claiming they read the news on a regular basis. Whether they're looking for Family Circus or a deal on an '87 Taurus, we're not asking.
On the other hand, it's probably more a matter of Ohioans having nothing to do and practically being snowed in for half the year. Guess if you can't get out to cheat on your husband or wife, you might as well read a book.
1st Place, Winter
If there's one thing we are really frickin' good at, it's cold. And so it was that Forbes - you remember Forbes - ranked Cleveland as the worst winter weather city in the country. And it's a frostbitten badge of honor we'll gladly snap up. Other cities see a dusting of snow and shut down till May; Clevelanders smile at three feet of freshly fallen powder and we go about our business, perhaps with bare-chested push-ups in the backyard. It's just one of those cases of worst meaning best, like when describing a spectacular mustache.
I hate Ohio winters. That is all.If there's one thing we are really frickin' good at, it's cold. And so it was that Forbes - you remember Forbes - ranked Cleveland as the worst winter weather city in the country. And it's a frostbitten badge of honor we'll gladly snap up. Other cities see a dusting of snow and shut down till May; Clevelanders smile at three feet of freshly fallen powder and we go about our business, perhaps with bare-chested push-ups in the backyard. It's just one of those cases of worst meaning best, like when describing a spectacular mustache.
But we seriously close nothing (rarely) when nature dumps snow on us.
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Date: 2010-12-22 03:44 am (UTC)It's Mahalo with an "a" in the middle. I've heard of them because the site's founder has been a regular guest on TWiT for years.