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I have cried far too much today. I'm sick of crying. I hate it, you have no idea how much I hate crying. It makes me feel weak and vunerable and worthless.
TJ went to work today. And I didn't read her LJ post until now. She's fine, but I can't stand to see her like this. It's just...not something she should be so worked up over. And I'm sorry, TJ, if I sound too optimistic for you. I's always there for you, and you know that, but when you can't come to me, sit down and bitch and scream about whatever's wrong, that really hurts. Because keeping all that shit inside doesn't help you at all. And there's nothing wronf with trying to explain it to me, I may not understand, but that doesn't mean I won't try. And isn't that what I'm here for? To be a friend, to be a shoulder to cry on? I don't want you to be like this, and what happened is something that shouldn't be making you feel this way. I understand why you went off last night, I do. Too many fucks saying too many bad things in too little time. And you didn't have time to decipher them all, and you got stressed. And if that's not it, then please tell me, because I want to know.
And then I got the job thing thrown in my face. After begging and begging her to go to work. I know I'm not working, and I know it's hard, but I try to do everything I can to make up for that. And I'm looking for a job, I've been filling out applications and calling places. But I can't just magically have a job. I wish I could, but I can't. And I know I can't hold a job. I don't know why, exactly, but I can't. And I know it's frustrating, it's frustrating for me, too. I want a job, I want us to be able to have extra money. But all I can do is fill out applications and hope for the best.
I'm just...I'm just really frazzled and stressed right now. I just hope that TJ's car is alright (turns out an alternator wire was loose, but I told The Hag to take it doen to the shop anyhow to have them double check it. Hopefully they'll have done that by 1PM, when the place closes), and everything clears up. -_-
TJ went to work today. And I didn't read her LJ post until now. She's fine, but I can't stand to see her like this. It's just...not something she should be so worked up over. And I'm sorry, TJ, if I sound too optimistic for you. I's always there for you, and you know that, but when you can't come to me, sit down and bitch and scream about whatever's wrong, that really hurts. Because keeping all that shit inside doesn't help you at all. And there's nothing wronf with trying to explain it to me, I may not understand, but that doesn't mean I won't try. And isn't that what I'm here for? To be a friend, to be a shoulder to cry on? I don't want you to be like this, and what happened is something that shouldn't be making you feel this way. I understand why you went off last night, I do. Too many fucks saying too many bad things in too little time. And you didn't have time to decipher them all, and you got stressed. And if that's not it, then please tell me, because I want to know.
And then I got the job thing thrown in my face. After begging and begging her to go to work. I know I'm not working, and I know it's hard, but I try to do everything I can to make up for that. And I'm looking for a job, I've been filling out applications and calling places. But I can't just magically have a job. I wish I could, but I can't. And I know I can't hold a job. I don't know why, exactly, but I can't. And I know it's frustrating, it's frustrating for me, too. I want a job, I want us to be able to have extra money. But all I can do is fill out applications and hope for the best.
I'm just...I'm just really frazzled and stressed right now. I just hope that TJ's car is alright (turns out an alternator wire was loose, but I told The Hag to take it doen to the shop anyhow to have them double check it. Hopefully they'll have done that by 1PM, when the place closes), and everything clears up. -_-
